letting go

👩🏽 HEALING THE PARENT WOUND 👨🏽

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This is can hold the key to your freedom, being yourself authentically. Family is not an area people want to work on until they realise it effects all areas of their life from relationships to business.

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Most of our fears and insecurities come from our perception of our interaction with our parents. Everyone had something in their childhood. Even the person who had the most beautiful childhood has pain somewhere whether they share it or not.
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Maybe your parents never saw you and understood you. Maybe they physically abused you leaving you feeling worthless. Or maybe they put too much pressure on you that you felt you had to be perfect to receive their love.
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Your mum and dad will never be who you want them to be. There will always be something you wish they did or didn’t do. The truth is you can’t change the past but you can see the lessons and forgive them.
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So how do you forgive?
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You see that forgiveness is for your freedom, not for them. When you forgive, you’re not making them right. You’re choosing to let go of the weight, resentment and move on. You’re choosing your future over your past.
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There is such a truthful quote I found the other day by Anne Lamott, “Expectations are resentments under constructions.”
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When you expect your mum or dad to do something, you lost sight of who they truly are. You might say, “Yeah but they’re meant to be my parents!”. They are, but they’re humans on their journey as well and no one is perfect.
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Letting go of the story requires you stepping into your authority and leadership which can feel scary. Because who would you be without your story? It’s what the little girl/boy in you have known all those years.
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This is a process of growing up and parenting yourself, coming closer to yourself every step along the way.
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Your parents are your mirrors. They show you parts you don’t love and accept about yourself. The more you love them, the more you love yourself ✨
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If you’d like support in forgiving, loving your parents, and healing childhood traumas, I offer coaching sessions around this. I deeply care about you all and I want you to move forward with ease, freedom and love this year 😍
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If you’re interested, message me ❤️
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I love you 🌹
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(Image is me with my mum and dad, love them so much 😍)
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✨ A NEW BEGINNING ✨

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I got a new tattoo last week!

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It’s a butterfly that was flying around at my dad’s funeral 1.5 months ago. It was there for 20 minutes, even when it was raining a little.
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I love how when butterflies come out from the cocoon, they actually need to rip the cocoon themselves to strengthen their wings. If you go and rip it for them, they die. It’s in the hardship they strengthen their beautiful wings.
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I like having a tattoo as a ritual, to have an intention that will go into it and will remind me every time I look at it.
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This one’s about many things. It’s about the hardship that makes you beautiful and who you are when you surrender. It’s about my dad’s love and presence as well as my masculine love and presence being with me. It’s about not needing validation from men anymore.
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I have a low pain threshold and it hurt like hell. So I kept repeating the words like mantra, strength and grace, empowered action, new beginning, masculine love and presence ✨
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Thank you Andrea Giulimondi Tattooer for the beautiful art 🙏🏼
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Here’s to a new beginning. It’s time to fly ✨
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Loads of love to you ❤️
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🔥 WHAT STUDYING ARCHITECTURE TAUGHT ME 🔥

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I burnt all my architecture work today 🔥

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This has been something I wanted to do for a while now, to get rid of all my architecture stuff. That’s what I studied 5 years ago. Then I worked in few places then realising I really don’t like doing it. So I stopped.

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Yesterday I googled, ‘how to burn stuff in the garden’ and bought an incinerator bin this morning, one of those metal bins you can burn things in. I took a Uber to Amanda’s place where we did the fire. The Uber driver was asking me (turned out to be a stunt man who is a dive master, kickboxer, free runner, professional gymnast lol), why I wanted to burn them instead of throwing them away. Good question 😍

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I first got the idea after doing a breathwork, it came to me super clear, ‘burn your architecture stuff’. I was like, wow ok I’ll do that. There’s something very cleansing about fire, I believe burning something ceremonially frees you from it. Every time I moved houses, I was carrying them with me which was pointless and felt heavier and heavier.

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Studying architecture is not a walk in the park. ‘I have so much work to do.’ was the normal thing you hear in a stressed out studio. The first 2 years, I was super lost. I didn’t really understood how anything worked, I experimented a lot to see what worked for me. One of the things I tried was flipping my sleeping cycle for a month to work at nights - terrible idea.

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I wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted to do later on anyway. Questioning something back and forth while at the same trying to succeed at it, takes a lot of energy. You can’t move forward doing that. Final year, I told myself, ‘You know what, this is my final year. I’m not going to question this anymore. I’m going to put my absolute best into this year, graduate, then figure out the rest later.’

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So I did that.

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For a whole year, I didn’t have a social life or a partner (slight crush in the end of the year as a perfect distraction). All I did for myself was writing 3 pages every morning as part of the Artist’s Way book. Then studio all day, all night until 2am. 

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Towards the end, I really missed going out as I loved dancing while I was out. My housemate at the time told me, ‘You can put your headphones on and dance in your room.’ I thought, what a great idea, I gave it a go. It was bliss, pure bliss. Every night between 2-3am I would dance out the day in my room after studio, go to bed at 3am then wake up at 7am and do the whole thing again with occasional sleep ins.

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The biggest lesson architecture taught me is showing up no matter what. I showed up for 3 years doing something I wasn’t passionate about. It showed me, well if I can do that without enjoying it, I can absolutely nail the things I enjoy no matter how scary they might feel at times. I had a proof of it working basically, I can make it work again.

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There’s a beautiful quote by Steve Jobs, ‘You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.’ 

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My dissertation was called ‘Architecture as a form of meditation’ - looking at places to meditate all around the world, what makes them a better place to meditate in etc.

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First year, I did a project on circus skills - I always admired circus artists, did pole dancing after graduating and will soon start doing aerial silks 😍

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Third year, I designed a kindergarden/art school for children - When I accepted that I didn’t want to do architecture, I worked in a school looking after kids until I find out what I want to do, I loved being with them at the time. I feel like there’s more to come about this one in the future 👩‍👧‍👦

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Throughout the projects, I used body, movement a lot in the concept and danced every night - I didn’t know 5rhythms or ecstatic dancing existed back then, I was just releasing and moving emotions out of my body. Now I guide movement/dance in my workshops.

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Sometimes I find people making a huge deal out of finding your purpose. It’s always there. You’re looking at it, you’re doing it in some form or another. It’s what brings you alive, something that you would do anyway even if you weren’t paid for.

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I used to walk around in the studio, talking to people comforting or motivating them. People would come to me when they were stressed. Helping them get out of that place brought me so much more joy than doing drawings.

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It took me a whole year to fully let go of architecture to move forward with coaching, healing and workshops. It took me another year procrastinating throwing away all the work and carrying them with me every time I moved houses 😊 Today I finally let go of all of that physically, only kept dissertation and final portfolio as a souvenir from that time.

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It’s such a good feeling when you do things you keep putting off no matter how small or big they are. Thank you for the beautiful ceremony Amanda 💛

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What can you physically get rid of this week? 

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Something that is already long gone to you, but you’re holding onto it physically. Would love to hear it in the comments below 😍❤️

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Loads of love and freedom to you 🔥✨

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We offered a breathwork journey last week! 

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It was a new venue Aaron and I used, gorgeous energy there.. These beautiful souls came to connect deeper with themselves.. I love doing this work, letting go of all the crap so you're free to be who you truly are 🙌🏼 And shine bright as you see from the photo 😍

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What they said:
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💥 "Lifechanging! I have been on the journey of connecting with myself for over two years. But I have never connected to myself like I did through breathwork. It's one of the most beautiful experience I've truly ever had."
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🌈 "It is a journey into the unknown. You leave lighter yet richer. Breathwork connects you deeper and quicker to your authentic self than anything else I've come across."
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⭐️ "As profound as the first time, but this time the negative energy holding me back was physically drawn out."
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I combined movement, meditation and breathwork in a meaningful way in a monthly women's workshop I called Goddess Circle. These are the most powerful and quickest ways I found to come back to the truth.. I do them regularly on myself too. I only show what I applied and worked on me btw 👍🏼
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The next one's next Monday, the 26th. 6 women only, small and loving group. There are still places available, would love you to join ❤️ Link to book:
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3194490
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Loads of love to you! 😘
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🍃🍂 LETTING GO 🍂🍃

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The more you let go, the more you'll become who you truly are.. 

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There's this story of a lion being brought up amongst sheeps. So it feels and acts like a sheep. Then one day, he gets captured by another lion. Taken to a pond, he sees his own reflection. He realises he's a lion. 

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What people expect from you becomes who you should be. Other people's opinions of you becomes what you believe about yourself. You might have taken them on without questioning, so what you believe about yourself might not even belong to you.. 

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Living up to that expectation takes a lot of energy. It makes you feel tired and exhausted. You might want to be in your own space. Because you haven't been yourself, then you feel like you can only be yourself when you're on your own so you're better off on your own.

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These are all conditionings, habits, how you believe you should be in the world to get love, to be enough, to fit in, to have control and power.. So many masks you carry around which are not really you. 

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So how do you change that?

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Know what you want, find out what your true nature is. Then if there are experiences and people from the past you're holding onto that stops you from being that, let them go. 

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And how do you exactly let go? 

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You stop holding on. You know that its done its job and you don't need it anymore. See what it taught you, thank it and say goodbye. Know that the void you just created will be filled with something as good or even better 😉

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As you shed all these skin, you might feel like you're not where you used to be, but you're not where you want to be either. So that can feel like this weird in between stage where things are moving and not very stabilising. That's ok, acknowledge how far you came and keep your focus on where you want to go.

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Look at nature, especially the transition period we are in right now. Trees don't hold onto their leaves as they die, they let them go knowing that in few months they'll have new leaves.. They're in total surrender in what is naturally happening.

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People might not understand or judge the change that is happening in you, because you're showing them parts they're not happy within themselves either but not brave to go in there to face and shift it.. Let them be. By following your truth you're doing them a massive favour in the long run showing them they can do the same. Their worry is not your problem anyway 😃

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When you're struggling to let go, ask yourself:

- What am I scared of loosing?

- Which part of me feels unsafe?

- When I don't let go, what's the payoff? (Everything you do has a payoff. It might be you get to be taken care of, you get love, you avoid being in your power by not letting go or you get to be in control by holding on etc)

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As you let go more and more, change becomes easier, you let go easier. As the old story leaves you, your life leads to a new beginning ✨

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There's an incredible guided meditation about letting go, moving on that I love. It's great for grief and seperation. If you'd like to try it out, let me know your email and I'll send it to you 🙌🏼

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Loads of love to you! ✨

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🌕 BEGINNINGS & ENDINGS 🌑

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Every end is a beginning of something new. Everything has a rhythm, a flow in it. The flow between two polarities. Day starts, day ends. Then night starts and night ends.

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Something ending is not a bad thing, its not a good thing either. It just means that it finished its course and now its time to move onto something else with the lesson you learnt.
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You might hold onto something amazing happened, but you don't know what's about to happen after that. By letting it go, you're creating an empty space to invite something even better into your life. That void will be filled.
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As you grow and change, the old ways will fall apart. People will naturally dissolve out of your life, you will not be interested in same things that you loved. It's inevitable, nature is accommodating your new level, taking what you no longer need and bringing what you need.
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That in between stage can feel a bit weird in the beginning, know that things will ground and you'll have new foundations.
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The more fluid you are, the more adaptable you'll be with those changes. You'll just flow with life. But when you block and try to hold on to what you have, nothing flows, you're just blocking nature. As you resist less and surrender more, you'll see how easy things can be.
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It's like taking a bath in the same water over and over again. That's not nice 😃 You need to fill it up, empty it then fill it up again next time. Then water flows and you flow, you embrace the changes of life.
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So here are few things you can do when you fear beginnings and endings:
- Notice what you are scared of loosing, remind yourself what's most important for you.
- Notice what your mind is telling you, question if that's real.
- Notice what your body and heart is telling you (to do this, close your eyes and imagine diving into your heart and ask 'what do i need to know?')
- Close your eyes after diving into your heart, ask for guidance on your next step in this change, it will come.
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How do you feel about endings and new beginnings, change? Do you fear it or do you love it? 🙌🏼 Let me know in the comments 💛💫
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Much love to you 💚✨
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