joy

💛 Hardships Soften You 💛

2018 was the hardest time in my life. I went through a painful seperation while grieving my dad. .

I’m very grateful for this period as it made me who I am today. I softened, I let go and I surrendered more.

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I recorded this video a month ago. I’m very open in these videos about what happened and how I chose to respond to it. I feel the emotions as I speak. I hope it gives you what you needed to hear ❤️

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If you’re going through a tough time, I’m here for you, just reach out to me 🙏🏼 We’re all human and we’re in this together ✨

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I love you 💛

✨ ALL OF YOU IS WELCOME HERE ✨

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As a humanbeing, you are meant to feel all emotions. It’s one of the things that make you human ✨

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Growing up, some emotions might have been more acceptible in your family and some might not have been. Or maybe emotions all together were avoided, unspoken or put under the carpet. So years after, as an adult when you feel those emotions, you either feel frustrated not knowing what to do with them, you judge yourself for feeling something you were taught was bad, or you judge others who express them strongly.
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Why would you go into feeling those uncomfortable emotions at all?
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Without those emotions, your life becomes a limited way of living where your feeling spectrum stays narrow. You avoid sadness which also brings you a limited version of joy. I know this from experience, going through deep grief, loss and sadness last year which honestly at some point felt I lost my joy overall. Now my joy is a whole new level of joy with gratitude like it got an upgrade ☺️ You also become an overall more heart centred, compassionate and loving human ❤️
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If you want to connect with those emotions, feel them fully and integrate them with love leaving you feeling whole, free and embodied, come to the next group breathwork journey.
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It’s next Thursday the 13th at 6:30pm. Link to book is below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4243177
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It’s a space where all of you is welcomed, all of you will be loved for exactly who you are. It’s powerful because if you experience this space once, it becomes a reference point you can go back to. This is the gift of those journeys for you ❤️
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Message me if you have any questions and I’d love to have you there 😍
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I love you 💛
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😡😭😜 ALLOWING YOURSELF TO FEEL 😜😭😡

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No one can tell you what your truth is. Only you know. 

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It feels very empowering when you feel your emotions and able to navigate through them where you find your own answers.
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You’re meant to feel as a humanbeing. It’s the judgement that twists the actual experience. You can go through your emotions without judging it as positive or negative. It’s just is, an experience happening for you right now.
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All emotions just want to be felt. When you’re going through one emotion, it often links to another one. You could start with anger, as you feel your anger, you might find sadness underneath it. When you go right to the depth of your sadness, there you will find joy.
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So how do you allow yourself to feel?
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You welcome all the feelings. Not just the happy, light ones but welcome the darker emotions knowing it’s safe to feel and you won’t be shown something you’re not ready to feel.
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Every emotion holds a treasure for you. I find that the gift of anger for me was to show me where my boundaries were, where I didn’t speak my truth and what I truly cared about. I’m naturally a passionate person, came with lots of anger. I was very passive aggressive until I learnt how to speak my truth with love. Someone once told me, “With your fire, only burn what doesn’t serve you, not yourself or other people.” 🔥
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The gift of sadness for me was to have compassion and empathy for myself and others who went to a dark place. Being able to go into my sadness with such depth, gave the same depth to my joy as well. I get to appreciate the whole spectrum and feel myself and others so much more.
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Crying can come from two places. One is victim, poor me, spiralling downwards crying that doesn’t actually serve. The other one is an emotional release where you’re allowing yourself to feel the full sadness and going through it for a moment or a day, however long, knowing it is passing. You’re coming from a knowing and empowered place.
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You’re allowed to feel sad and defeated. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You can let your guards down. You can be loved in your grief, sadnes, anger, joy or peace.
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If you want to experience this in a safe and loving space, with no shame or judgement, come do breathwork with me on the 18th, next week. If you’re already in touch with your emotions, come join anyway, let’s go deeper. You might find parts of you that you didn’t know were there 🔥
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We still have spaces available. Link to book is below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4196787
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I love you ❤️
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This is my little heaven ❤️

One of the reasons I wanted to live on my own was to see clients at my place and hold mini workshops. I’m so grateful today I’m able to do this 😍

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Last year had a lot of grief for me. At some point it was so intense that I thought I won’t go back to my old joy. I even made peace with not feeling ecstatic or excited about life again. I surrendered to it. At the time, Aaron said something wise as he always does. He said that I won’t go back to my old joy, but I’ll have a new joy that has so much more depth as I’ve gone way into the other side of the spectrum.
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Yesterday evening, I felt that joy during Goddess Circle which I held at my place. It’s a more grounded joy rather than an overexcited and erratic one. It felt alive and I felt totally ok losing this joy again. In that moment, I felt grateful for every single tear, every single loss, every single dark moment. I looked up and saw the word “joy” on this cushion I have.
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Another thing was seeing once again, whether it’s 1 woman, 2 women, 30 women there, the number doesn’t mean anything. Even if one person shows up and receives something out of it, I’ve done my job ❤️
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The next Goddess Circle is on the 28th Jan.
1 space left.
Link to book ✨
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3914294
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The next Freedom Through Breath is on the 31st Jan.
* SOLD OUT *

The one after that - 21st Feb
Link to book ✨
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4053846
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I’m off to dance, wishing you a beautiful and magical evening 😍✨
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Love you ❤️
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💞 THE SMALL THINGS IN LIFE 💞

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I emerged from my period tent 💫

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I like having few days off from sharing on social media. I’m either busy with sessions, either on my period, going inwards to feel and process something fully or just resting for no reason. Then I always come back feeling refreshed, rested and grounded.
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Right now, I’m here in this little secret garden I found in Clerkenwell, journaling and centring myself. I feel like if I don’t journal every few days, my mind doesn’t register to what happened in those past days, I literally forget 😃 So journaling is a necessity for me to function at my best really 🗝
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I felt so blessed to have found this garden cafe here and I remembered a similar feeling I had a week ago.
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It was right after a Goddess Circle workshop I gave. The workshop went amazing despite the speakers gave up halfway through. Then I went to Pret, sat down with my avocado brie toast. As I had the first bite, I started crying. I felt like I didn’t need anything else in that moment. I felt so content, so happy. It was one of those moments where if I died, I’d be complete, I’d be completely happy with what I did here. I’m going to create more obviously but it was a rare moment where I didn’t feel I could’ve done this, done that etc. I felt proud of the life I created so far.
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Then I started listing things that I’m grateful for in my life. I don’t have a gratitude journal or anything, but when I feel a moment of bliss, happiness, joy etc, I take a moment to put my hand on my heart and to feel it fully. Then I feel into other things in my life that make me feel this way. It feels like a love bubble surrounding me and getting bigger and bigger ❤️
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I love finding happiness in the little things as well as the big things. I’m feeling like that’s reaching a new level. It’s like my capacity to feel is expanding. I have incredible, in flow, aligned as fuck days where I go, ‘finally I’m back in my flow’ followed by a super scary, messy day where I feel like I’m loosing my shit. And I’m learning to accept the non linear style of life and complexity of human emotions 😃
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I’ve been receiving a constant flow of messages full of love and support since my dad died and I’m so grateful for all of them. Thank you all! I’m taking screenshots of it all to read again if I feel lonely or seperate 😉✨
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Wishing you a gorgeous rest of the day 😘❤️
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Love you 🌻
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I woke up feeling so alive this morning, full of joy, excitement and bliss! ❤️

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I held a breathwork journey yesterday for 35 people at 11:11 Events where we had a day full of talks, workshops, open mic jams 🙌🏼

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I'm out of words, honestly, each time I do these breathwork journeys, its an honour to see how willing people are to go deep within, to let go and move forward with lightness and freedom. It truly makes me happy when I see someone feeling their pain fully, then 10 minutes later, they're free from it, liberated from their past traumas. They're a different person than the one who walked into the room.
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Thank you Saara Daisie Isabel Rita and Jenna for holding space with me. It means the world to me to know that I'm not alone, to know that there's a whole army of men and women behind me pushing me forward, supporting me ❤️ I always believed I had to do this on my own, that's not really the case:) Thank you Rita for doing such a great job in creating an incredible energy for the whole day 🙌🏼
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Now I'm off to packing my whole life in one day for the move tomorrow lol. Super exciting times 😍🙌🏼
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Wishing you a wonderful Sunday 💛
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💚 DEEPER LAYERS OF LOVE 💚

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This post has been the hardest post I've written to this day taking out words from me with each tear, feeling each pain and each emotion.

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Aaron and I seperated on Monday. It was our last day as a couple. We made the decision to seperate 5 weeks ago realising we've given each other everything we needed at this time, it was time to let go and be on our own for a while.

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Since then we've been allowing ourselves to grieve, to feel and to celebrate what a wonderful and special relationship we created. We held breathwork journeys for each other, spoke about our memories together, had playful and fun time together, soaking up the last moments we have of our relationship. We wanted to do it in a way to honour our love and life together for the past year so we can go into friendship without any heaviness, resentment, sadness or anger.

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I've never had a breakup this way before. It hasn't been easy. It has been a very loving, honouring but also a confronting process requiring us to be honest with ourselves and each other. It's the opposite of cutting each other off, two lovers becoming two strangers within hours after intimate months together, moving on like nothing happened. 

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Rather than holding onto pain for months and years, we've been feeling the pain of letting each other go and releasing as we feel. Rather than crying out on our own or with a friend, we've been crying together. Rather than turning all the love to hate, we've been going deeper into love while transitioning into friendship. As we let go, we find a deeper layer of love underneath the sadness, underneath the resentment and the pain.

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When you're getting to know someone you slowly go into the relationship, this felt like the same thing but on the other side of completing a relationship allowing us to not carry on any trauma to the next phase of our lives.

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Part of me is excited to see what's ahead of me. Part of me is scared that I'll never find such a deep and loving connection ever again. My mind goes, it's insane to have this and let it go, how can there be something even deeper than this? Then my heart says, 'You've already made the hardest decisions in your life, just trust, I got you.' Then I take a step forward into the complete unknown not knowing what's next ✨

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I've been feeling so grateful for the last few days for receiving such supportive and loving feedback about my recent posts telling me I'm brave to tell all of this. I feel like real bravery is willing to go deep within yourself, willing to dig deeper and deeper knowing you might not like what you find but still going until you hit the gold. There's a deep sadness, deep loneliness within me that I discovered recently as I write more. I didn't know it was there before. That's gold for me because that's what makes this post happen.

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I feel grateful to have been with a man with whom I went into the depths of my darkness together. I feel grateful to have been with a man who can see right through me and love all that I am. I feel grateful to have been with a man who stays by my side lovingly even when I try to push him away. 

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This has been a magical, beautiful, transformational year full of growth, deep love, deep intimacy and lots of fun. We were two people who grown into two completely different people. The intensity of shift felt like ten years fitting into one year.

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The last five weeks we've been through together has been a ride, beautiful, loving and honouring. Now its time to journey and grow on our own. Aaron's off to Panama in few hours for three weeks, I'm staying in London focusing on my 1-1 sessions, writing and workshops 🙏🏼

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If you're going through a seperation, breakup, grief and want to talk, PM me, would love to listen to you. Know that you're not alone and you're meant to feel as a humanbeing 💙

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Loads of love to you 💚

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We offered a breathwork journey last week! 

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It was a new venue Aaron and I used, gorgeous energy there.. These beautiful souls came to connect deeper with themselves.. I love doing this work, letting go of all the crap so you're free to be who you truly are 🙌🏼 And shine bright as you see from the photo 😍

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What they said:
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💥 "Lifechanging! I have been on the journey of connecting with myself for over two years. But I have never connected to myself like I did through breathwork. It's one of the most beautiful experience I've truly ever had."
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🌈 "It is a journey into the unknown. You leave lighter yet richer. Breathwork connects you deeper and quicker to your authentic self than anything else I've come across."
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⭐️ "As profound as the first time, but this time the negative energy holding me back was physically drawn out."
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I combined movement, meditation and breathwork in a meaningful way in a monthly women's workshop I called Goddess Circle. These are the most powerful and quickest ways I found to come back to the truth.. I do them regularly on myself too. I only show what I applied and worked on me btw 👍🏼
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The next one's next Monday, the 26th. 6 women only, small and loving group. There are still places available, would love you to join ❤️ Link to book:
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3194490
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Loads of love to you! 😘
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😃 EMOTIONS: JOY 😃

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Time to talk about joy!

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Joy is like feeling alive, feeling passionate and excited about what is possible in this life. This is the emotion I feel most easily. It's naturally there.
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You might feel like what's the point to all this, life is just hard, confusing, leaves you in difficult situations, overwhelmed. Then you want to just give up, shut down and hold yourself in that heavy, lonely place. Its as if you want to punish yourself and others by keeping you miserable, proving yourself that life is miserable.
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But actually you always have a choice in any moment. You can choose to feel joy same as you choose to hold yourself in that misery. It's not fake until you make it, its when you feel all emotions that most people avoid to feel, fear, anger, sadness etc and release it by fully feeling, you'll naturally feel more joy. The lower you can go, the higher you can go. Rather than running around with sacks of potatoes, you let them go, so you are lighter, more expanded and alive.
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People I see with most joy are actually the ones that are honest with themselves, who feel all the emotions. Then when they do feel joy, passion, happiness they feel much more. Whenever I cry loads, I feel a wave of joy and aliveness wash over me after.
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Whenever you feel joy, feel it fully, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and anchor this moment in your heart, knowing that whenever you put your hand on your heart, you'll feel it again. Your body remembers even when you forget.
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If you want to laugh, allow yourself to laugh hysterically. If you're worried what other people will think, know that they're just people and after 15 mins they'll forget what you did anyway, they have their own shit going on, they're worried what other people will think as well 😂
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So how do you connect to that joy?
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Follow these steps:
- Always acknowledge how you are feeling in this moment. Know that it doesn't define who you are.
- Imagine yourself in the future as your best self, whole, complete, exactly how you want to be and even better.
- Ask them, 'What's my next inspired action to connect to my joy?'
- It doesn't have to make sense, don't judge it, just follow that.
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Whenever you doubt something, always ask your higher or future self. It's empowering yourself to find your own answers rather than asking others.
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What brings you joy? What makes you feel fully alive? Comment below 💥
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Wishing you a gorgeous rest of the weekend 🙌🏼✨
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