new beginning

Happy weekend! 😍❤️

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I hope you’re having a lovely one 💛

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I gave a completion on 2018 - vision for 2019 session in the morning 🙏🏼
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I absolutely love helping people imagine what their year could look like and actually allow it to come to life effortlessly through using few tools. In these sessions, I guide them through letting go of the weight or everything attached to the old year so it’s a fresh start 😍
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I’m offering a 2-2.5 hours long one off session on offer during January. So you complete the last year and kickstart the new year with joy and excitement 🔥
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I only have few spots left. Message me if you’re interested. I’d love to be of service to you 🙏🏼
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Have a beautiful rest of the weekend ❤️
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Love you 😍
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🔻 COMPLETING 2018 🔻

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Every year I do a full on completion that takes me 2-3 hours of going through my calendar, journals, photos of the year.

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It is important to reflect to see how far you came. If there’s not much progress, that’s great. It’s good to acknowledge where you’re at, so you can let it go and move forward. 

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There is no comparison, everyone is different. There is no new year police either, you can take your time and do it during January too, or whenever you want. Do it on the Persian new year if you like 😃

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Here’s mine ✨

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This year, I love who I became. I learnt to love her. I have things to improve on, for sure. But I’m enjoying being a learner, being open, so I can grow.

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I’ve gone into the depths of my darkness this year to an extent I’ve never been before. It felt neverending, excrutiating and painful. I was never depressed growing up as I developed this “bubbly” personality to be friends with people, only to realise I’ve never allowed myself to feel sad or angry.

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The breakups Aaron Le Conte and I went through, my dad and nan passing away were catalysts for me to feel those supressed emotions. It was a full permission to go into parts I didn’t love and accept about myself. I came to accept that I get my energy from being on my own. I love people so much, but I am at my best when I have a lot of alone time. While I was with Aaron, I abandoned this part of me. I spent a lot of time with him and friends which was incredible. Towards the end of the year, I started to come back to myself, finding out again what I love, who I am, what I want to do. Moving to live on my own was the beginning for that. I felt uncomfortable being on my own in the beginning without any distractions, now I’m falling in love with it. 

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I will be on an ongoing journey of discovering myself as I change all the time but I can honestly say I’ve never been clearer in what I want to create in my life. Knowing this is freedom for me. And it came from spending a lot of time on my own and being honest with myself.

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Aaron and I broke up and got back together four times. Every time, we tried to make it work and in the end we accepted the fact that we’re not right for each other. Going through months of breaking up and trying to make it work while running a business was hard, I’m not gonna lie. But it taught me to show up no matter what and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

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I started creating sacred spaces for myself, lighting candles, running a bath, putting fairy lights on, ambient chill music and just be. With no agenda, nothing to do. It was one of the things I found my most challenging and also most rewarding, to sit with myself, with all of me, with no distractions. It helped me to surrender to my emotions and process grief.

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I connected with my body deeper. I stopped using make up, wearing bras, started using natural hair products and I got my coil (iud) out. Three things I’m so proud I did. It took a lot of letting go of old conditioning and fears and my body instantly thanked me for them.

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I put my polyamory/open relationship explorations to an end. I’ve been on this journey on and off for three years. I came to the point of realising with relief, I love going deep with one man, in complete surrender and intimacy loving all of each other.

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I learnt to not put my sense of purpose in a relationship. My nature is naturally masculine, I need to create, put something out in the world which is often my writing, sessions, workshops and will be books eventually. That is my primary focus for a good while and I’m ok with that. I grew up with this fairy tale that I should always have a man in my life. I am open to that but my foundation is always will be me and what I offer. I don’t have shame around it anymore, I don’t feel too masculine or anal about it. I love it because this is me, this is what brings me alive. 

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I started to deeply appreciate the time I have with my friends and family. I’ve never been a big fan of quality time, but this year I fell in love with it. I am surrounded with so many beautiful women that held me and listened to me this year through my hard times, so grateful for every single one of them. 

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Last holiday I had with my parents this summer before my dad passed away was the best one we had, most connected I felt to both of them, especially dad before he passed away. The last conversation we had on the phone was me coaching him on something which I never did before. It was a pleasure to do that for my own dad. It’s been only three months since he passed away but after processing the initial intense grief, I’m seeing more and more when he died, he took my need for male validation with him. He freed me from it.

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This past year, a lot of introspection, healing and growth happened. I welcomed grief with open arms, got frustrated in the beginning as it didn’t fit in my schedule. I quickly realised feeling it fully whenever it showed up, helped me move through it.

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I softened a lot, became more embodied. I used to believe these were not really measurable, they didn’t give you tangible results so it meant you didn’t progress. I saw that, that is when you progress the most. You go further by slowing down. Recovery, rest, reflection is as important as taking action. It’s a dance between hard work and rest, a wave in the ocean that goes in and then out that creates beauty.

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As I was going through my calendar, I realised I did a lot of things too actually:

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- I gave 24 workshops, co-hosted my first women’s retreat.

- I gave 212 coaching and breathwork sessions.

- I moved to live on my own.

- I started eating regularly, doing yoga every day and going to 5rhythms regularly.

- I wrote 20k words to my book “The Sacred Space”

- I saw writers I love such as Julia Cameron, Elizabeth Gilbert and Gabrielle Bernstein.

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Below are some questions for you to reflect on your past year. All you need is pen, paper and your honest heart. Go through your calendar. Write down significant events. This will help you give some perspective about what actually happened. Here are the questions:

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1. If your 2018 was made into a movie, what would it be called?

2. A word defines 2018 the best for you.

3. The biggest lesson you learnt?

4. The biggest surprise of the year?

5. The wisest decision you made?

6. The biggest thing you completed?

7. What are you most proud of?

8. 3 people you influenced the most?

9. 3 people influenced you the most?

10. The best thing you have discovered about yourself?

11. What are you most grateful for?

12. What were the most memorable moments? What made them memorable?

13. Your 3 greatest accomplishments?

14. Who or what helped you achieve those accomplisments?

15. Your 3 biggest challenges you overcame?

16. Who or what helped you overcome those challenges?

17. What did those challenges teach you?

18. Anything you need to forgive from 2018? Maybe yourself? Write them down even if you don’t feel like forgiving.

19. Is there anything you need to let go before starting the new year?

20. Any last words to 2018? Anyone you want to say goodbye to?

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If you want to reflect deeper on 2018, forgive anything you need to forgive, let go of anything you need to let go of and want to get clear of what you want in 2019, I’m offering a one-off 1-1 session with me during January. 

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It is on offer for - £120 - 2-2,5 hours.

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It will be a powerful ending and a clear beginning. If you’re interested, message me ❤️

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Happy new year! 😍

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🌕 BEGINNINGS & ENDINGS 🌑

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Every end is a beginning of something new. Everything has a rhythm, a flow in it. The flow between two polarities. Day starts, day ends. Then night starts and night ends.

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Something ending is not a bad thing, its not a good thing either. It just means that it finished its course and now its time to move onto something else with the lesson you learnt.
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You might hold onto something amazing happened, but you don't know what's about to happen after that. By letting it go, you're creating an empty space to invite something even better into your life. That void will be filled.
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As you grow and change, the old ways will fall apart. People will naturally dissolve out of your life, you will not be interested in same things that you loved. It's inevitable, nature is accommodating your new level, taking what you no longer need and bringing what you need.
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That in between stage can feel a bit weird in the beginning, know that things will ground and you'll have new foundations.
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The more fluid you are, the more adaptable you'll be with those changes. You'll just flow with life. But when you block and try to hold on to what you have, nothing flows, you're just blocking nature. As you resist less and surrender more, you'll see how easy things can be.
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It's like taking a bath in the same water over and over again. That's not nice 😃 You need to fill it up, empty it then fill it up again next time. Then water flows and you flow, you embrace the changes of life.
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So here are few things you can do when you fear beginnings and endings:
- Notice what you are scared of loosing, remind yourself what's most important for you.
- Notice what your mind is telling you, question if that's real.
- Notice what your body and heart is telling you (to do this, close your eyes and imagine diving into your heart and ask 'what do i need to know?')
- Close your eyes after diving into your heart, ask for guidance on your next step in this change, it will come.
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How do you feel about endings and new beginnings, change? Do you fear it or do you love it? 🙌🏼 Let me know in the comments 💛💫
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Much love to you 💚✨
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👕📚 CLEARING OUT 📚👕

I'm back!

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Had a super intense and powerful weekend when I was away.. Will write about it properly later. I'm adjusting to my new level atm. 

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When I came back, I went into my room and felt like I have so much stuff. I had this urge to clear out things. So with my gorgeous boyfriend we did kinesiology to figure out which books I want to keep. You hold the book on your Solar Plexus, the other person tries to put your arm down and you resist. If it gets down you get rid of that book 😃 Super fun too!

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I had 5 shelves of books, now its down to 2 shelves. I'm also super attached to my books, I can get rid of clothes and stuff but when it comes to book I get overly attached. It didn't matter though, books that I won't read or won't read ever again went away. After the arm exercise I carried on with getting rid of books. Gave loads to charity and sold some through We Buy Books app alongside with some DVDs, its awesome guys, try it! Now when I look at my book shelves I feel amazing, books that I truly love and will go back to them again 💞

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The clearing out urge carried on with clothes and shoes. So I got rid of 3 bin bags full of clothes, shoes, bed sheets. I was so excited didn't even take photos of the bags 😃 

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It was 39 KILOS! Stuff I haven't worn in few years, was moving them around each time I move houses, its insane..

39 KILOS of stuff! 

Sold that through Bob's Cash for Clothes, it wasn't much but when I asked the driver where the clothes went, he said 3rd world countries. I nearly cried my eyes out. Gave them away with loads of love 💚

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I feel so much lighter now. I'll carry on with getting rid of uni work and other stuff dedicating this week to that:)

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It's crazy when you think about it. We hold onto things we're not even wearing, using, reading. Then as we look at them they hold our energy, take our energy. For what? To take place in our consciousness when we don't even need them. Get rid of it, honestly. Then there's more space for the new to come in. It's expansion.. 

Special thanks to Aaron for igniting this, thanks baby 💙 

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I shall continue with my clearing 😉✨ Loads of love to you! 💛

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