acceptance

💫 SURRENDER TO YOUR EMOTIONS 💫

surrender to your emotions.jpg

I’m learning the balance of allowing myself to feel sadness, grief and loss while creating and doing my work. I have no control over this at the moment. The more I surrender to my emotions, the more they transform and I’m able to create from that space. 

Life comes with it’s highs and lows. People mostly share about the highs which I find is easy to share. I don’t see many people sharing about lows openly and honestly until I meet up with them and they tell me that’s exactly how they felt 😃 Maybe it’s because of not wanting to go there again or maybe the desire to be vulnerable to a controlled extent where they still get to keep their appearances. 

The lows are where you become who you are. They’re the your stones that turn into diamonds. They’re the richness of life, raw, real and vulnerable.

The most loving and compassionate people I met are the ones who went through hell, who faced their darkness, their lows and went out from the other side, transformed. You don’t become a beautiful person by only experiencing happiness, joy, bliss etc. You can’t have depth with only experiencing these emotions. If you only allow yourself to feel those ones, you’re living your life in denial, removed from life itself. You’re not living fully.

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. It can make you a closed hearted, resentful, fearful and angry person towards life as well. But when you accept what’s happening and surrender, you grow from it. The more you resist it, the more it’s going to carry on.

Especially if you menstruate and bleed regularly, before and during period is a time where all your stuff comes up. If you look closely, that period pain is telling you something. That feeling of loneliness, sadness etc is there to be felt fully. Allow it before you jump to wanting to fix it. Painkillers are not the answer.

Over the years, especially when I was small, I learnt to be joyful and interested to make friends. And I got good at it. I can make friends with anyone. I love that side of me which is being a social butterfly. It makes me feel alive and connected. 

I also have a super depressed side to me that just doesn’t want anything to do with life. It wants to hide in a room, curl up into a ball and not exist for a while. In that egoic pattern, I can’t even cry. I don’t feel, I’m completely numb and apathetic.

Now I’m learning to accept that side, talk to it, write about it, love it and transform it. Every emotion moves through you when you allow it ❤️

Acceptance is the key. If you’re not accepting as life shows you things, you can’t move forward. You’re stuck. Accept that your loved one passed away, accept that you’ve been cheated on, accept that your friend stabbed you in the back. For your own freedom, see the situation for what it is without putting a meaning to it.

I saw a beautiful friend of mine last week. After catching up, she told me I felt more loving, grounded and accepting. See in my head, everything is turning upside down and I’m loosing my shit. If you feel like that, have an honest reflection from a close friend and don’t beat yourself up. You might be doing so much better than you think you are 😉

Here’s how you can process emotions like sadness, loss, grief:

- Accept that you feel sad. Even this can be revolutionary if you usually deny your sadness. It doesn’t mean anything, it just mean that you feel sad. You’re a human with emotions.

- Close your eyes. Take 5 deep breaths into your belly while allowing the feeling to be there. 

- If you feel teary, let those tears come. If you feel rage, let the rage be there.

- Out loud, say how you feel, to the person you’re angry at, or to yourself while feeling sad. Say anything else that wants to come out.

- Hold and hug yourself.

- (If you find it challenging to get into the feeling, start writing how you feel and let the feeling talk without censoring.)

And remember, after a low, there’s always a high. Crying is not weak, it’s powerful. It’s a gift for yourself from yourself in form of a beautiful release. After big good cries I always feel lifted, calm, grounded and happy. I feel joy starting to come in again in mini waves. 

If you have a job and have things to do, allow yourself that 30 min to feel, to not do anything but to be with your pain like you would do for a friend. Whenever I go inwards, cry, write, someone books their place in my workshop or wants to have a session with me. Always. It happened today as I wrote this post.

Any unprocessed emotions will stay in your body until you feel it fully. It’s the fear of feeling we’re scared of. Once you’re in it, it’s not actually that bad. But the disconnection you have from feeling reveals itself as chronic pain, a disease, numbness. It can even effect your face. For example the left side of your face can change becoming heavier.

I went to 5rhythms movement class the other day. One of the dancers just got qualified in teaching, so the teacher invited her into the huge circle of maybe 70 people. She went in with pure joy, ecstasy, celebrating herself and her success. Then she invited everyone else to join in. Few people joined in. Everyone else was clapping in the outside circle. I watched them, I watched the people in the middle dancing, smiling and laughing. That’s when it hit me:

✨ In life, you have to participate ✨

Whatever it is, wherever you are, however you’re feeling, bring that into your life. Don’t exclude your sadness, your insecurities, include them. Show them to people, love them. 

If you want to feel your emotions fully and transform any heaviness, shame, frustration, sadness, come to breathwork next Thursday, the 15th. Bring all of you to the table. Even the parts you don’t accept or love about you as they will hunt you back until you learn to love them ❤️

Make sure to book your ticket if you want to join, we’re half full now. Here’s the link to book:

https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3745467

Happy new moon, a new beginning 🌕 

Sending you so much love and big hugs 💛

💛 BOUNDARIES: SAYING YES 💛

boundaries saying yes.jpg

The other day, I posted about saying no, today's about saying yes ☺️

.

If you haven't read it, you can read it in my previous post ⭐️

.

So boundary is a choice you make about what you feel ok and not ok with.

.

And how do you know when a yes is a true yes?

.

You see people go, 'just go for it', sometimes its a real no. Sometimes not doing is true. And sometimes going for it is the true choice.

.

You might be scared of saying yes, to be in the unknown. You might not want to commit fearing it might take your freedom away from you. You might not trust that things are going to work out. Or you might feel like if you want something you won't get it. So simply not wanting it will keep you safe and ok.

.

The truth is you can have everything you desire. If you don't have it by now, doesn't mean you'll never have it. Own what you want, ask for it. It puts you in a vulnerable place, because you're asking for what you desire. You're risking yourself to get hurt.

.

But you're also opening your heart to receive what you truly want. You can't receive if you're not open. And even if you don't get it, accept it didn't happen, let go of any meaning you make about yourself and go for it again without scaling down what you want ✨

.

Follow these steps to find out what a real yes feels in your body:

- Close your eyes, take in a deep breath in.

- Repeat in your mind, 'My name is ...(your name).' 

- Repeat in your mind, 'Yes'

- Notice how that feels in your body. Where do you feel the yes in your body?

.

When you do this you'll get a yes as a feeling, visual, hearing or just a knowingness. Know that that's how your yes feels like. Next time you say yes you'll know if its true or not.

.

When do you struggle to say yes? When do you absolutely know when something is a hell yes for you? 

.

Would love to hear ✨

.

Loads of love to you 💛

.

 

🍃🍂 LETTING GO 🍂🍃

letting go.jpg

The more you let go, the more you'll become who you truly are.. 

.

There's this story of a lion being brought up amongst sheeps. So it feels and acts like a sheep. Then one day, he gets captured by another lion. Taken to a pond, he sees his own reflection. He realises he's a lion. 

.

What people expect from you becomes who you should be. Other people's opinions of you becomes what you believe about yourself. You might have taken them on without questioning, so what you believe about yourself might not even belong to you.. 

.

Living up to that expectation takes a lot of energy. It makes you feel tired and exhausted. You might want to be in your own space. Because you haven't been yourself, then you feel like you can only be yourself when you're on your own so you're better off on your own.

.

These are all conditionings, habits, how you believe you should be in the world to get love, to be enough, to fit in, to have control and power.. So many masks you carry around which are not really you. 

.

So how do you change that?

.

Know what you want, find out what your true nature is. Then if there are experiences and people from the past you're holding onto that stops you from being that, let them go. 

.

And how do you exactly let go? 

.

You stop holding on. You know that its done its job and you don't need it anymore. See what it taught you, thank it and say goodbye. Know that the void you just created will be filled with something as good or even better 😉

.

As you shed all these skin, you might feel like you're not where you used to be, but you're not where you want to be either. So that can feel like this weird in between stage where things are moving and not very stabilising. That's ok, acknowledge how far you came and keep your focus on where you want to go.

.

Look at nature, especially the transition period we are in right now. Trees don't hold onto their leaves as they die, they let them go knowing that in few months they'll have new leaves.. They're in total surrender in what is naturally happening.

.

People might not understand or judge the change that is happening in you, because you're showing them parts they're not happy within themselves either but not brave to go in there to face and shift it.. Let them be. By following your truth you're doing them a massive favour in the long run showing them they can do the same. Their worry is not your problem anyway 😃

.

When you're struggling to let go, ask yourself:

- What am I scared of loosing?

- Which part of me feels unsafe?

- When I don't let go, what's the payoff? (Everything you do has a payoff. It might be you get to be taken care of, you get love, you avoid being in your power by not letting go or you get to be in control by holding on etc)

.

As you let go more and more, change becomes easier, you let go easier. As the old story leaves you, your life leads to a new beginning ✨

.

There's an incredible guided meditation about letting go, moving on that I love. It's great for grief and seperation. If you'd like to try it out, let me know your email and I'll send it to you 🙌🏼

.

Loads of love to you! ✨

.

.