self love

💙 LOVE YOUR ESSENCE 💙

I’d love to announce another exciting collaboration I’m doing in May! 💫

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Faith Jones is my friend and a transformational love coach. We went to the same coaching school Animas, stayed in touch following our shares on social media. One of the things I love about her is her laugh, it’s so full of life! 🌻
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We recently had a chance to gather with people from our coaching school. Nisha who met both of us on the day, had a feel for what our energy is like when we are presenting and coaching. She told us “You should do a workshop together!” We both looked at each other and nodded, “Yeah!”. It instantly felt right and here we are 😍 Thank you Nisha for the idea!
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LOVE YOUR ESSENCE is a half day workshop diving into connecting with your essence and loving all that you are. We both deeply care about this both in our work and personal lives. It will be a combination of talks, experiential exercises, group and individual work with GAMES! Because it’s important to have fun 🤓
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18 May Saturday
YMCA at One KX, King’s Cross
10am - 1pm
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You can find the link to book below 👇🏼
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https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/love-your-essence-an-explora…
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The earlybird price is on until 1st of May, next Wednesday. Come join us! 😍
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It’s open for MEN and WOMEN. Message me if you have any questions 🙏🏼
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“The greatest act of courage is to discover, own and be who you truly are and love yourself with all your heart.” - Madisyn Taylor
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I love you 💛
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❤️ HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AFTER A HEARTBREAK ❤️

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Breakups are painful. 

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As much as they hurt, they can also be the beginning of a new chapter.

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Falling in love is one of the most beautiful feelings on the planet. You find each other and love every single thing about each other. You become a team together, you fall into this love bubble you create together.

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You become each other’s whole world, everything and everyone to one another. You forget how you even lived before meeting this person. You love so deeply that you’d do anything for each other. 

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Then for whatever reason, that love bubble pops, you come back to reality. You see parts in this person you don’t like. You either blame the person for not being who you want them to be OR you own the fact that it’s something actually you need to be working on so you hold each other and work through it together. 

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It’s never one thing. It’s the accumulation of little things that leads to breakups. And it hurts. It can feel like this beautiful love you shared is gone overnight and you left with nothing. You might go into the story of the love you shared wasn’t real, you were betrayed, you will never be loved again, men can’t be trusted, they abandon you etc.

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The truth is, when you’re falling in love, you’re falling in love with aspects of yourself. You love yourself through loving the other person. The other person is just you, an aspect of you. When you love those qualities in them, you love the same in yourself ❤️

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The love you shared is always there, it’s never lost. The problem is, you make it about the person. When they are out of the equation, it feels as if the love is gone. It’s not. It shows you what love can feel like so you can feel it with yourself and others.

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After a breakup, you have two choices:

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✨Are you going to close your heart and give up on love? 

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✨Or are you going to keep your heart open and love again and again?

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Mark Nepo says in the documentary, Power of the Heart, heart grows through breaking, like muscles. It’s agony in the moment, it hurts. But the heart says, “Give me more.” It’s about coming back to love, finding acceptance and forgiveness.

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When you close your heart, it can feel like protecting yourself from being hurt but you’re also closing yourself to the love, magic, happiness and all there is in life. There is a risk of your heart being broken again, but the cost you pay when you keep your heart closed is much bigger.

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Nearly throughout last year, I went through a painful breakup. We chose to seperate in a way we hold each other in our sadness and grief as we wanted to be in each other’s life forever as close friends. It was hard because we literally exposed ourselves to feel rather than numbing. It brought up loads of other stuff I avoided looking at before. It wasn’t a straight line where I felt it for three days and that was it. It was more like a cycle where some days I felt free and empowered, some days, I felt sad and heartbroken until one day, I wasn’t sad anymore.

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I had my doubts creeping in, “How can you let this go? Will you find this love again?” When you let go of something not knowing what will come, that in between space can feel scary. Wherever there is space, universe will bring in something. You just don’t know it yet.

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Filling that space doesn’t have to be being with someone else. Be with yourself first, take care of yourself first rather than expecting someone to do that. You can go straight back into another relationship that makes you feel better. This could be a distraction from feeling. When that new connection ends, there you will find your pain, waiting to be felt. That’s all it wants, to be felt.

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Here are some steps to bring you back to your own love when you feel heartbroken:

- Close your eyes.

- Take 4 deep breaths.

- Notice what emotion is present in you? Allow yourself to feel it knowing it’s safe to feel it.

- Which memory is it bringing up in you? When was the first time you felt this?

- Now see the 4 year old you. How does she feel? What does she need to hear from you? Tell her she’s loved, whole and beautiful as she is. No one’s behaviour can change that.

- Place your hand on your heart.

- Imagine bringing down your awareness into your heart space. Take a deep breath into your heart. What is your heart telling you?

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No one’s behaviour or words can change who you are. The way they treat you says more about who they are. It doesn’t mean anything about you but it shows you what you believe about yourself. It shows you about your wounded self and Ego. It’s not who you truly are. The reason it’s happening is to show you a lesson that needs to be learnt, a boundary needs to be put or a change that needs to be made.

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If you’re resistant to self-love, start with self-respect and self-honour. Treat yourself with respect and honouring of your needs. When you do, all the people who don’t treat you well will start vanishing from your reality and you won’t compromise for any less than you deserve.

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"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." - Brene Brown

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Forget about everyone else. Only you matter. Everyone else is a gateway to you, to learn more about yourself and love yourself even more. 

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Explore what you love. What brings you joy? What comes naturally to you? What excites you the most? What would you do for the rest of your life if you weren’t paid to do it? What do people say you’re good at?

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Know that you’re healing, growing, learning and expanding your capacity to receive and give love ☺️

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Love you ❤️

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I saw this the other day and I love it 😍

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There are 5 love languages, 5 ways we feel loved. How you love people might not be how others want to be loved. For example, you might love giving compliments as that’s what you would love, but the other person might just wants to spend quality time together with full presence and no phone.

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It’s so good to talk about these not just with your partner, but friends, family, colleagues even, to find out how they feel appreciated so you connect with people deeper.
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It’s also important to find out what makes you feel good and connect with yourself deeper. How are you giving yourself love? ❤️
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Maybe your love language is more quality time, it could be going on walks in nature. Or if it’s words, it could be catching yourself when you’re beating yourself up and saying kind words to yourself instead 🙏🏼
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Do the test 5 love languages online, then find one thing from your first love language that you can do this week to be loving towards yourself and do that 😍
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Enjoy this gorgeous sun! ☀️
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Love you 💛
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Image by Blessing Manifesting: Self Love Quotes

💛 ONE STEP AT A TIME SELF LOVE 💛

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In my previous post about self-love, I wrote about accepting and loving parts of yourself you don’t like. 

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You can read the previous post here 👉🏼 

https://www.facebook.com/595885299/posts/10161244072840300/

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This one’s about the practical things you can do to cultivate self-love ✨

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SET BOUNDARIES 🙅🏽‍♀️ 

If you have people around you constantly needing your energy, only calling you when they are in a bad place but not listening to you when you need them, see if you actually want to be friends with this person. Tell them how you feel, “I’m noticing I’m there for you a lot, but when I need you, I feel like you’re not there for me.” This is your life. When you do so much for others, what are you doing for yourself? Listen to the guilt and say, “Thank you for sharing.” and give yourself what you need without having to earning or deserving it. You deserve it anyway without doing anything.

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TAKE A BATH & REST 🛁 

Fill up a bath, put some rose oil in it. Put an ambient chill playlist on, light some candles. Et voila, you created a sacred space for yourself to absolutely do nothing. You go further by slowing down. I used to go into overdrive and not even realise i’ve been working for 5 hours straight. Then my head would feel as if it’s going to explode and i wouldn’t know how to wind down. You’re not a machine and you’re allowed to have time where you do nothing but soak in a bath ✨

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LEARN HOW TO EAT WELL

I’m no expert in this. But luckily I had a conscious mum who taught me how to eat well followed by a nutritionist I saw for a while. Plan your meal shopping. Do a big one for the month, then another one in 2 weeks for things like fruits, salads as they will run out in the first two weeks. Have recipes of 5-6 dishes you can make. Write down the ingredients and do your shopping according to that. Have 2-3 alternative to breakfast/lunch/dinner in case you get bored of eating the same thing like I do. Sometimes prepare your table as if you’re having guests around. You are the guest! Treat yourself like a queen/king 👑

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CONNECT WITH YOUR BODY 🏃🏽‍♀️ 

Your body loves moving. Choose a workout or embodiment practice. Whether its running, yoga, dancing, climbing etc, stick to something 2-3 times a week even for 20 minutes and you’ll see a drastic change in how you feel and also how your body looks ✨

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HAVE SOME ALONE TIME 💛 

We live in such a busy world, in such fast pace. It can be easy to forget to spend time on your own. Take yourself out on a date, to a movie, for a dinner, for a walk in nature. You’re the person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life. Get to know yourself, what do you like? What brings you joy? And don’t rush if you don’t know your purpose. When you do what brings you joy, your purpose will become obvious with time ✨

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There is a place deep within you that knows who you are. You don’t have to look outside for things. You just have to let go of everything you’re not and turn down the volume of external sounds. This is why slowing down and being in silence is powerful. Switching from doing to being, it’s rejuvenating, healing and restoring ✨

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HAVE COMPASSION TOWARDS YOURSELF 😍

We’re our worst enemies. Talk to yourself how you’d talk to a friend, especially when you’re feeling low, especially when you don’t feel at your best. The words you use carry powerful energy. You might not have crossed everything from your to-do list. That’s ok. You might not be where you thought you’d be by now. That’s ok. Train yourself to tell yourself, “That’s ok. I love you anyway.”

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HAVE A MORNING AND NIGHT ROUTINE ☀️🌕

Morning routine can be as simple as making your bed and journaling for 10 minutes, writing out whatever you’re thinking in that moment. A night routine can be as simple as reading a fiction novel for 10 minutes while drinking a camomile tea. Keep it simple to start with. I’ll write a longer post about this tomorrow.

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These are action steps that are easy to do. Go into the part of you that doesn’t feel loved, a part of you you don’t accept, pushed to the side. Love that part. When you accept and love more the parts you don’t want anyone to find out, all these practicalities fall into place anyway. External actions become effortless when you shift the internal.

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Take one practice from this post, whether it’s taking a bath or moving your body, do it regularly for a week. Then come back to this post and add another. It’s overhelming to do them all at the same time in one go. 

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This past November and first half of December, for the first time in my life, I slept well, ate well, did 5rhythms (movement meditation), did yoga nearly every day. I always had one or two out of balance. For the first time I nailed it. And I know I might not have this balance all the time and that’s ok.

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Ask yourself:

- Is this going to connect me more with me?

- What gives me more self-love?

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And do that. Treat yourself like you’re your own lover 😉💛

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I love you ❤️

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😘😘😘

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❤️ SELF LOVE 101 ❤️

Self love is one of the hardest things I find. The more I do breathwork journeys, workshops and sessions, the more I see I’m not alone in feeling this way.

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Self love is not just taking baths, getting a massage etc. It’s also about going into your darkness, accepting and loving those parts of yourself you don’t want anyone to find out.
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You might feel you don’t deserve to be cared for so you don’t do it for yourself when you do it so generously for others. You might feel seperate and lonely so you seperate yourself even more by abandoning yourself. You might feel you deserve good things only as a reward when you earned it. Or you might feel self-love is a weird narcissistic thing where you feel awkward to love yourself.
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Growing up, maybe you believed there was something wrong with you, maybe you felt you’ve done something bad and you don’t want anyone to find out. So you carry a shame keeping people at an arm’s length distance so they don’t find out. If they find out, they might shame you, reject you or abandon you.
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I have felt and done all the above. I still do them from time to time and continue to work on them.
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You’re not black or white. There are many sides to you. Sometimes you’re feisty, dark and sexual. Sometimes you’re loving, soft and giving. Accepting them as a part of you takes the power out of it. When you do so, it stops showing up so strongly because you listened and payed attention to it. It was a part of you just wanted to be heard and seen.
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Growing up, I believed anger was a bad emotion and I felt guilt and shame whenever I felt it, especially towards people I loved. Now I see, anger when integrated, coming from a higher place, is actually power and strength. It shows you where your boundaries are and what you care about.
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There are always two sides to things. Our pain becomes our greatest strength when we see the lesson, forgive and let go of the story. Our shame becomes compassion. Our fear becomes courage. Our grief becomes freedom.
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Here are few steps to accept and love parts of you you might struggle to accept and love:
- Close your eyes and take a deep breath.
- Take 4 more deep breaths.
- Go on then, one more 😃
- Ask, “What part of me I feel I can’t show to people?”
- Imagine that part of you infront of you
- Ask, “What do you need?” (Maybe just needs to be acknowledged and to be listened)
- Give them what they need.
- Tell that part of you, “I love you and accept you.” and imagine you hug that part as it integrates to your body.
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When you have your internal love and validation, any external love and validation would be extra, not a necessity. You receive love and validation when you let go of the need for it 💛
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Master this and practical side of what to do to cultivate self-love such as alone time, bath, movement etc is actually easy. My next post is about that ✌🏼
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Sending you love ❤️✨
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(Image is from this past summer ☀️)
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💃🏽 JUST BE YOU 💃🏽

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I hear this a lot, ‘just be you’. I say it a lot too actually 😃 

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But how can you actually just be yourself?

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Being yourself sometimes can be the hardest thing to be. You might feel you need to control yourself, you’re not allowed to be yourself, that’s just too risky.

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You might feel you need to be a certain way to receive love. You can’t rock the boat or create too much conflict, you need to do what you’re told and be a good girl/boy.

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Or you might feel you have to accommodate poeple and make sure they’re not uncomfortable. So you prefer to keep the peace and sacrifice being you once again for the sake of keeping everyone happy.

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So what do you do?

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You sacrifice being yourself in order to be in control, in order to receive love and in order to keep everyone happy. 

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The truth is by controlling yourself, you loose touch with your true self and when it comes to being yourself you might be clueless in what that feels like.

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And when you do receive love, you’re receiving that love to the masked version of you. Still you feel unloved because it’s not you they’re loving, it’s the rundown version of you. And still, everyone’s not happy, it’s never enough.

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And when you make other people uncomfortable when you’re yourself, you’re just showing them something they’ve been avoiding and they don’t like facing it. You’re actually serving them.

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I’m great at being a chameleon. I enter a room, scan the energy of the people, listen to the words they use, the way they move and quickly calculate how I should be there to not create too much of a contrast. I used to do this a lot to fit in. Now I do it to connect with people and really feel and see who they are, not to change my way of being around them. And I still fall back into it some days. I catch myself saying things I wouldn’t normally say and go, ‘who dis?’ and come back to myself 😃

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Two weeks ago at Boom festival, there was a woman I was dancing with for a bit. In the end she came up to me saying, ‘You’re so powerful and beautiful. You have so much strength. You activated something in me. I’m going to do my best to pass it on. Thank you so much. ’ 

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I had to have her repeat it to me as I wasn’t sure how she got all of that by me just dancing around. Then again, I saw it. By your way of being, by just being you, you can show people so much without even trying.

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Here are few ways to come back to yourself when you’re loosing touch with being yourself:

- Close your eyes, take a deep breath.

- As you exhale imagine you’re sending off anything that’s not you, all the beliefs, energies people might have put on you.

- As you inhale, imagine you’re gathering back all your energy, power you mught have given to people. Imagine you’re becoming whole as you inhale, feeling whole and complete.

- Ask yourself, ‘What would I do in this moment, if no one I knew existed?’ ‘Who would I love to be?’

- Go and do that, be that.

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When you see someone who are themselves unapologetically, they don’t have to explain you who they are. You just know it, feel it from their way of being. 

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I haven’t mastered this btw. I have days where I’m being me and loving who I am. Then I have days I doubt if I should wear my feather earrings to that formal dinner. But then I do 😉

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What do you celebrate, love or honour about yourself? 

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Comment below, let’s celebrate our uniqueness 💃🏽

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Loads of love to you all 💛✨

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❤️ HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? ❤️

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This topic has been coming up for weeks now, today being the Valentine's Day, I thought its a good day to write about self love 😍

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You're the most important person in your life. The better you take care of yourself, the happier you'll feel, the better you'll help, serve, give others.

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Loving yourself can be a challenge when you have parts of you that you don't love. You see all parts of yourself that are incomplete, dark, messy, not lovable, not good enough.

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But actually, you're not meant to be perfect and sorted. You're meant to be as human as you can. And love yourself as much as you can with all those parts that you can't accept and love.

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So how do you love yourself?

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You give yourself what you need. You listen to your body, to yourself and prioritise what you need. "You do you" as one of my clients says.

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When you do that, you might have guilt coming up. How can you prioritise yourself and chill when you have a 3 year old needing your attention? When you take care of yourself, your little one will see what self-love looks like, feels like and you'll be more present with them more than ever.

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Or you might have shame coming up. Who do you think you are? How can you love yourself when you messed up? Notice the shame, talk to it, feel it, let it know its ok and let it go.

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Because when you prioritise yourself, you don't expect other people to give you love. You don't resent them for not fulfilling an expectation that they were not even aware of.

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You can hold yourself, hug, caress yourself, seduce yourself without needing someone to do that for you. If they do, that's great. If they don't, that's great too, because you don't feel lonely or desperate anymore by the lack of it. And its exactly that energy that attracts more love.

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Here are ways to be loving towards yourself:

- Think about where you were 2 years ago. Think about where you are now. Write down all your achievements (including non tangible ones: your patience, courage, working on yourself, building family, creating relationship, enjoying yourself, self growth etc) Celebrate them!

- Next time you want to say no, but you feel like saying yes not to cause conflict; take a step back, breathe, close your eyes and ask yourself what you want, do that.

- When you had a long day at work, in the evening allow yourself to rest properly, could be bath with no phone, walk in woods, journaling, reading etc. (TV is not rest, its stimulation.)

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If you learn to be happy on your own, to enjoy your own company, you never have to settle down for less than what you desire in a partner or in a friend. 

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Someone shared with me she hugged herself after breathwork I held and she meant it. It moved me, seeing someone geniunely hugging herself feeling love for themselves. Later on the same day, I felt so much joy, I was kissing my arms, hugging myself and geniunely feeling, meaning it 💜 

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How do you show yourself love? What do you do just for yourself, no one else? 

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Love you 💛

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🌷 IT'S OK TO BE BEAUTIFUL 🌷

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Your sensuality is your power. Your sensitivity, your beauty, your softness, all of it is..

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You might have guilt and shame around your body, around yourself. You might feel like you need to dim your light, you can't just openly say you love yourself and you find yourself beautiful because of the judgment you believe you'll get.
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The truth is you have a unique beauty, so does everyone else. Comparing makes no sense as you're here to shine your beauty, not to be more like someone else's beauty.
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When you embody your own beauty, without comforming to any idea of what beauty is, you see the beauty you have within yourself as well as your outer beauty.
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Here is a ritual you can do to embrace and be ok with your sensuality:
- Put this song on: Deva Premal - Om Hraum Mitraya.
- Get naked infront of a mirror.
- Touch all parts of your body saying sorry for not paying attention to this part as much then sending love to it.
- When you're done with everywhere, look into your eyes and say, 'I love you as you are. You are beautiful.'
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If you have resistance to this process, that's ok. I was resistant at first thinking you can't fake it if you don't feel it, but it doesn't matter. Saying the words out loud have a profound effect on your body.. Just keep going ☺️💚
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Seeing your beauty and femininity is one of the most loving thing you can do for yourself. Then you don't take on anything you don't want in your life. You know your light, your power, your gift and you are fully expressing that..
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Which part of your body do you love the most? Comment below beautiful people 😍❤️
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Sending you loads of love ☺️🙏🏼
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🎉 CELEBRATE WHO YOU ARE 🎉

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When you honour and acknowledge who you are, you stop comparing yourself and you celebrate your gifts.

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You might take for granted for what you achieved so far, like its a normal thing to do so. But it's not.
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When you've done something that you haven't done before, your Ego might not allow you to celebrate that. It might throw all sorts of thoughts at you to hold you back from what you just created like, 'you could have done it differently', 'it wasn't good enough', 'you didn't do it how you planned to do it' etc..
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Because now you reached a new level😉 Ego might not want you to see that.. You've grown more. See the truth, the reality of what you just did. Ask yourself what have I created and answer honestly..
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Yesterday Yana and I gave a 1 day workshop for women..
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I feel honoured to see the level of openness and willingness to grow.. I feel grateful to be there, co-facilitating this powerful transformation.
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Seeing the participants, seeing Yana, seeing myself, seeing all the differences as things to celebrate not to compare was beautiful.. Then we can collaborate. Rather than working against we can work with our strengths.
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You're unique in your own way. We're all one and connected, but within that you have a gift to serve the world..
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See all the parts that make you, you. Your similarities with other people, your differences, your fears, your dreams.. They're all parts of you.
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Celebrate what you do, who you are. If you didn't have those differences you'd just be like anyone else and there won't be a rich mixture. By being you, you allow others to be themselves too.
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Here are some questions you can ask yourself to honour who you are:
- What are the things I'm good at that some people are not?
- What do I love about myself?
- What do I absolutely love doing?
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I'd love to hear from you. What are the three qualities that makes you, you? Comment below 😘
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Here's to a new level 😉🎉
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Sending you loads of love ☀️💛
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