intimacy

Today my man and I have been together for 1 year! 😍❀️

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One year of adventures, diving into each other's dreams, fears, triggers.. Going to new levels of love, growth and intimacy over and over again..
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I feel very grateful we're at this point. We might look like we have the perfect relationship from the outside. But its not perfect obviously. No relationship is what it looks like from the outside. We created this beautiful connection and love we share but it didn't happen overnight magically.
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We constantly push each other to grow together. Intimate relationships are such a huge mirror, it brings up all parts of you, especially the parts you don't want to see. And I'm so grateful in those moments one of us didn't go, that's it I had enough, its over πŸ˜ƒ Funnily enough these are the moments that brought us closer too.
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Last night we went through these questions and spent an hour looking back at what we created together in the past year ✨ 
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These are great questions Aaron made up. They help you see parts of your relationships you haven't noticed before and acknowledge more of what you have. Having these conversations stops you from taking the other person for granted as well. 
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Here are the fabulous questions πŸ’πŸ½βœ¨
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1. What is your favourite memory of your first year together?
2. What is the most magical moment of the last year?
3.List your 5 favourite things about you as a couple
4. List your 5 favourite things about the other person
5. Has anything surprised you about your relationship?
6. What’s been the hardest thing that you’ve gone through?
7. What has brought you closer together so far?
8. When do you feel most loved?
9. What would you like more of in your relationship?
10. What would you like less of in your relationship?
11. What have you learnt this year in your relationship?
12. What would you like to unfold in your relationship over the next year?
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You can even prepare a whole evening around going through these questions with your partner to connect deeper ❀️ Have fun! πŸ˜‰
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Loads of love to you all πŸ’›

πŸ’›Β BOUNDARIES: SAYING NO πŸ’›

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What are boundaries? 

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They are choices you make about what you feel ok and not ok with.
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These can feel like non existent for you. You might feel like you never explored boundaries. In some cultures, it can even be considered disrespectful to have boundaries, to say no, but they're actually super healthy agreements you have with people to respect and love one another.
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You might have had an experience where you said yes when really you wanted to say no. Maybe you felt guilty about saying no, maybe you felt that's what you should say to get love.
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Each time you say yes but you actually want to say no, you're abandoning your body. You start loosing trust in yourself and in your own intuition.
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You don't have to take on people's fear and worries when they are accusing you, so that the conflict will be over. You can say no.
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You don't have to have sex when you don't feel like it, so that the argument will be over and you can go to bed. You can say no.
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You don't have to drink at the bar when you don't want, so that everyone else who is drinking won't judge you. You can say no.
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The problem is the guilt that comes up, when you say no. Stay with the guilt, feel it. Then ask what you need and prioritise your needs before others. This can feel selfish but actually it benefits everyone in the long run.
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Saying no is a loving thing to do for the other person too. Then they can trust you that you will speak your truth instead of resenting them. You can always choose not to have what you don't want. You don't have to justify yourself either. And at any point, you can also change your mind.
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Follow these steps to find out what a real yes and a real no feels in your body:
- Close your eyes, take in a deep breath in.
- Repeat in your mind, 'My name is ...(someone else's name).'
- Repeat in your mind, 'No'
- Notice how the no feels in your body. Where do you feel it in your body?
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This is your real, authentic no. Start noticing how you feel when you say no in your daily life. If its a maybe, take that as a no for now and then explore it again πŸ˜‰
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When do you struggle to say no? When do you absolutely know when something is a no for you?
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Share below if you're drawn to or private message me if you don't want to share publicly, would love to hear. You can also say no and choose not to πŸ˜ƒ
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Loads of love to you πŸ’›
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πŸ’š 5 LOVE LANGUAGES πŸ’š

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This keeps coming up for me, people are asking me about their relationships. As they do I'm mentioning 5 love languages more and more. So here is how you can use this simple tool to create more intimacy and love in all your relationships.

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5 love languages are 5 ways we feel loved: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service.
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You and your partner's love language might not be the same and doesn't have to be the same. As long as you're aware of both your love languages, you're good.
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So what are they exactly?
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Physical touch is kissing, hugging, a loving stroke on arm, cheek, back rubbing, massage, sexual intimacy, love making etc πŸ™ŒπŸΌ
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Words of affirmation is expressing your love through words. Giving compliments, writing poems, appreciating through written or spoken expression ❀️
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Quality time is spending time together being fully present with no phone, going on adventures together, sharing experiences together πŸ’‘
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Gifts are giving gifts, pretty obvious πŸŽπŸ˜ƒ
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Acts of service is doing things for your partner like cooking for them, cleaning their room for them, hanging some pictures on the wall, taking the bin out etc. Showing your love through your acts πŸ›
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Love languages are formed by how you were treated when you were younger. Maybe you were hugged loads by your parents so you want the same from your partner. Or you weren't hugged at all and you want hugs from your partner.
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They might change over time as well depending on your life circumstances, for example when you go through hard times, service might become more important for you as someone doing something for you will lift the weight off your shoulders..
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How can you use this?
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First find out yours through here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
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Mine is in this order: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service 😍
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Then you can make a game out of it and ask your loved one:
- Do you feel more loved when you receive a hug or a gift?
- Do you feel more loved when someone cooks for you or gives you a compliment?
- Do you feel more loved when someone rubs your back or spend the whole afternoon with you?
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You get the point πŸ˜‰ Or just follow the questions on the website with your partner, friend, children, family etc.
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Great conversation to have on dates too πŸ˜‰
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When you do this you can truly make your loved one feel loved and vice versa, massive life saver..
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What makes you feel loved? Comment below top three ways you feel loved πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ’ž
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Much love to you πŸ’š
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