words of affirmation

🌲 HERE’S WHAT I DID ON CHRISTMAS 🌲

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A year ago, I had this idea instead of doing a vision board, printing out beautiful words people said to me, words from my friends, family, you guys who comment on my posts, messages from you, client messages etc. I printed some out and kept them in a drawer for a year. 

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My love language is mainly words so I feel loved and appreciated mainly through words of affirmation, compliments etc. Then it’s service and physical touch. Other love languages are quality time and gifts (do the test on 5lovelanguages.com to find out yours).

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So I’ve been doing this wall for the last week and I took my time with it. I went through all my posts this year, emails etc, printed them all out. It filled me with so much love. As I was cutting out the words which took me hours, I backed up my photos on my phone something I’ve been wanting to do since the beginning of the year 🙈 I watched interviews, documentaries, cleaned my flat. 

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I thought I could feel lonely being on my own on Christmas while most people are with their families, but I felt so full, whole and loved being on my own doing this. It was so beautiful 🙏🏼

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Doing this wall taught me something. If I aim to enjoy myself I get more done but if I aim to finish the task, it doesn’t get finished plus I get super stressed.

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Focusing on enjoyment rather than focusing on efficiency. So by the end of it, not only you completed the task, but you enjoyed it rather than feeling as if you were tortured. Obviously don’t loose touch with reality, you might have deadlines etc, but simply asking, “How can I bring more joy and fun into this?” will do.

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If you want to complete things asap like I am, find out where that need is coming from. For example, I realised the other day I believed if I finish things quicker, then I’ll be good enough. So the speed was stemming from feeling not good enough. Since realising this, I became much more slower, as slow as a person with not good enough belief can be though 😂 

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It takes hard work, persistency and patience to create something beautiful. My older posts, surrender in lovemaking, your sacred blood, two breakup posts, my dad’s funeral, they all took between 2 to 6 hours mainly spent crying and typing. When I look at this wall now, I see why I do what I do. I can see the impact of my hard work, persistency and patience. Then I want to serve more, give more sessions, workshops and write more posts. 

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When I see a couple using a process they read in a post and feeling more connected after or a woman starting to write again after reading my post, that means the world to me. 

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It’s easy to create when everything in your life is going great. When your dad passes away and you have a workshop to give in four days, that’s creating, that’s showing up no matter what.

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So this wall is my reminder to show up no matter what, because I have so many examples now that when I do, people transform ❤️

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Find out what helps you to show up, look at it when things get tough and use it as your support system in 2019 when shit hits the fan because if you’re aiming high, it will 😘

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Thank you all for your support, love, sharing my words and work. It means so much to me. 

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I appreciate you all 😍

💚 5 LOVE LANGUAGES 💚

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This keeps coming up for me, people are asking me about their relationships. As they do I'm mentioning 5 love languages more and more. So here is how you can use this simple tool to create more intimacy and love in all your relationships.

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5 love languages are 5 ways we feel loved: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service.
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You and your partner's love language might not be the same and doesn't have to be the same. As long as you're aware of both your love languages, you're good.
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So what are they exactly?
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Physical touch is kissing, hugging, a loving stroke on arm, cheek, back rubbing, massage, sexual intimacy, love making etc 🙌🏼
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Words of affirmation is expressing your love through words. Giving compliments, writing poems, appreciating through written or spoken expression ❤️
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Quality time is spending time together being fully present with no phone, going on adventures together, sharing experiences together 💑
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Gifts are giving gifts, pretty obvious 🎁😃
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Acts of service is doing things for your partner like cooking for them, cleaning their room for them, hanging some pictures on the wall, taking the bin out etc. Showing your love through your acts 🍛
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Love languages are formed by how you were treated when you were younger. Maybe you were hugged loads by your parents so you want the same from your partner. Or you weren't hugged at all and you want hugs from your partner.
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They might change over time as well depending on your life circumstances, for example when you go through hard times, service might become more important for you as someone doing something for you will lift the weight off your shoulders..
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How can you use this?
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First find out yours through here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
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Mine is in this order: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service 😍
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Then you can make a game out of it and ask your loved one:
- Do you feel more loved when you receive a hug or a gift?
- Do you feel more loved when someone cooks for you or gives you a compliment?
- Do you feel more loved when someone rubs your back or spend the whole afternoon with you?
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You get the point 😉 Or just follow the questions on the website with your partner, friend, children, family etc.
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Great conversation to have on dates too 😉
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When you do this you can truly make your loved one feel loved and vice versa, massive life saver..
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What makes you feel loved? Comment below top three ways you feel loved 👇🏼💞
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Much love to you 💚
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