safety

💛 BOUNDARIES: SAYING NO 💛

boundaries saying no.jpg

What are boundaries? 

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They are choices you make about what you feel ok and not ok with.
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These can feel like non existent for you. You might feel like you never explored boundaries. In some cultures, it can even be considered disrespectful to have boundaries, to say no, but they're actually super healthy agreements you have with people to respect and love one another.
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You might have had an experience where you said yes when really you wanted to say no. Maybe you felt guilty about saying no, maybe you felt that's what you should say to get love.
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Each time you say yes but you actually want to say no, you're abandoning your body. You start loosing trust in yourself and in your own intuition.
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You don't have to take on people's fear and worries when they are accusing you, so that the conflict will be over. You can say no.
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You don't have to have sex when you don't feel like it, so that the argument will be over and you can go to bed. You can say no.
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You don't have to drink at the bar when you don't want, so that everyone else who is drinking won't judge you. You can say no.
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The problem is the guilt that comes up, when you say no. Stay with the guilt, feel it. Then ask what you need and prioritise your needs before others. This can feel selfish but actually it benefits everyone in the long run.
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Saying no is a loving thing to do for the other person too. Then they can trust you that you will speak your truth instead of resenting them. You can always choose not to have what you don't want. You don't have to justify yourself either. And at any point, you can also change your mind.
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Follow these steps to find out what a real yes and a real no feels in your body:
- Close your eyes, take in a deep breath in.
- Repeat in your mind, 'My name is ...(someone else's name).'
- Repeat in your mind, 'No'
- Notice how the no feels in your body. Where do you feel it in your body?
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This is your real, authentic no. Start noticing how you feel when you say no in your daily life. If its a maybe, take that as a no for now and then explore it again 😉
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When do you struggle to say no? When do you absolutely know when something is a no for you?
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Share below if you're drawn to or private message me if you don't want to share publicly, would love to hear. You can also say no and choose not to 😃
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Loads of love to you 💛
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