unconditional love

✨💛 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SETS YOU FREE 💛✨

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Unconditional love is loving with freedom.

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It is loving without conditions. Rather than saying “I’m only going to love if you ...”, loving with freedom says, “I’m going to love you either way.” In doing so, you’re actually loving all parts of you as well, without conditions.

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It’s about letting the other person be themselves in all their quirks and everything that makes them who they are rather than shutting them down.

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It’s about not taking each other for granted. You don’t have to be in an open relationship or be polyamorous. Even when you’re in a closed relationship, it’s about setting each other free every day and being grateful for keep choosing each other.

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So how do you love with freedom?

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You don’t expect the other person to resolve your unmet needs as a child. You love them for the sake of sharing love.

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Expecting someone you just met to make up for all the times you felt not good enough, unloved or abandoned is not fair on both of you.

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Go into all your wounds and comfort that little girl or boy in you. Give her the love she wish she received from her dad. Give him the love he wish he received from his mum. Then with your partner, you can come back to love.

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It’s never about them. They’re triggering in you for example how your mum made you feel unloved by being cold and distant or how your dad made you feel not good enough by never showing you how proud he was of you. It’s always your mum and dad playing out, not the person infront of you. It’s not personal.

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I love this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh (will never know how to pronounce that):

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“Love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

My friend told me the other day, “I feel like I don’t need to filter anything with you. I can be completely transparent, completely myself. I feel free.” For me, that’s an honour to know that when someone I love hangs out with me, they feel like they’re hanging out with themselves.

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My default mode in relationships is controlling, not gonna lie. When I’m triggered or feel like I’m under threat, I try to control. So I know what it feels like to attempt to create safety by controlling, doesn’t work 😂 I’m grateful for coming to a place where I can say, “I can love freely now.”

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If you resonate with the need to create safety by controlling, create that safety within yourself first. Hold yourself and give yourself what you want your partner to give you. Ask each other how you can support one another to feel safe. Ask each other how you feel loved and what your needs are.

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Same applies to all relationships with your family, friends, collegues etc, not just in intimate relationships. Love in a way that you want what’s best for them, not what’s in your benefit. Half of my closest friends live in different continents right now. I miss them of course, but I’m so happy for them for following their truth. That’s what love does, it chooses what’s in the highest not what will be more beneficial to you.

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Here are some steps to come back to loving with freedom:

- Close your eyes

- Take a deep breath in.

- Notice how you’re feeling. What’s the emotion? Is it sadness, anxiety, fear etc?

- In that scenario, what are you believing about yourself?

- When was the earliest time you felt this?

- Let that scenario unfold. (For example - you’re 3 and your mum and dad are arguing.

- Imagine standing infront of them and tell them out loud what you wish you said at the time.

- Imagine seeing the scenario from a higher perspective now, see for what it is. See their pain. Why did they act the way they did?

- Can you forgive them for that? If you do, tell them.

- Give them a hug. (If you feel like it)

- Let that go. Bring your awareness to the situation you have today.

- Now knowing you’re whole and complete as you, ask “What would be in the highest?”

- Act on that.

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When you feel whole within yourself, you don’t have expectations from one another. You don’t want them to do anything or be anything. You love and appreciate them for who they are. You don’t need anything from them. They can meet you or not meet you, you’re happy either way. That’s freedom.

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Most importantly, be ok with being on your own. This is one of the most important thing you can learn. Find what makes you happy outside of the relationship. Don’t base all our happiness into the relationship so you feel happy either way. When you feel that fulfillment, the most freedom seeking soul wants to stay anyway. But don’t fake your fulfillment to manipulate them to stay obviously 😂

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Would love to hear your thoughts on this lovelies ❤️ Feel free to message me or comment below 👇🏼💫

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Love you 💛

✏️🔨 THE MAGIC TABLE 🔨✏️

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I’ve been selling and giving away loads of stuff as I moved recently.

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I sold this table to a guy today. He came around to pick it up and said, “It’s going to be perfect for the kids.”
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“Is it for kids?” I asked.
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He said, “Yes, I teach kids how to do woodwork stuff in a community centre in Highgate, for kids who have ADHD, autism and so on.”
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I was like 😍😍😍😍😍
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I asked him, “Do you do it with dads and sons as well?”
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“Oh yeah, lots of dads and sons come in”
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So he’s taking this table to them so they can do it as well. I can tell that that’s literally his gift and he’s offering it to the world with such love, genuineness and kindness.
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He said there was a woman asked him once if he had a ‘normal’ class for kids who don’t have ADHD, autism etc.
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He told me he told her, “I don’t seperate them. I put all of them in the same class.”
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I just stared at him in awe and said, “Oh my god, that’s so lovely.”
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It makes me so happy when I meet such kind and loving people. This is what the world needs more of. There are so many kind men out there and it warms my heart when I see them spreading their love, making the world shine a bit more ✨
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This got me super emotional and so grateful today for life for bringing such beautiful people to me sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for years 💗
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If you want to go to his woodwork classes open to children, adults, and together, his details are:
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Ricky
07506 504 220
woodthatworks@hotmail.com
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May you receive kindness and love as much as you spread them and so much more ✨
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Sending you so much love 💛
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🎭 BEING YOURSELF 🎭

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When you are yourself you feel loved and seen for who you truly are.

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You might feel like you need to behave in a certain way to get love. You have to do something to deserve love because you can't just get love by doing nothing.
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Or you need to put a mask on to keep everyone happy except you. You need to blend and mold in without being too much of a rebel. To do this, loads of your energy goes into figuring out the situation unconsciously, people so you can blend in. Otherwise, if you reveal yourself to the world you will be betrayed by those you love.
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The truth is you're not defined by other people and other people are not defined by you. People have their own perceptions going on which they're acting out from and that doesn't mean anything about you.
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Next time when you're trying to be in a certain way you think you should be, try these steps:
- Close your eyes.
- Ask yourself 'What's holding me back from being myself?'
- Allow yourself to feel that emotion and ask yourself when you first felt that emotion.
- See that time forming infront of you. What are the decisions you are making about the world and yourself in that moment?
- Imagine looking at the situation from high above, through the eyes of your higher self, your true self. What actually happened? What was other person scared of?
- Come back to the present moment and see what's the true action for you to do for yourself if no one you care about existed.
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When you are not yourself and see that you are being loved you don't receive that love fully because that love came to the masked version of you.
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But when you are truly yourself and when you see that you're celebrated and loved for who you are, that's when you fully feel loved, seen and heard. You have nothing to hide now and you just proved that you can be yourself. It's a beautiful feeling ☺️💛
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Would love to hear from you, comment below your thoughts lovelies 👇🏼
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Much love to you 💞
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💙 LOVING SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE 💚

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You agreed to come onto this planet to have a super real human experience. You forgot that you were pure light and energy as you came down.

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Coming from pure love, such high energy, it feels like a trauma having to fit in to a tiny human body. So the illusion of seperation starts.
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When you connect to and love someone, you are actually loving and connecting to yourself. They're showing parts of you, to you. Because you are everyone. And everyone is you. So when you hurt someone, you're hurting yourself too. That's why Universe has a funny way of bringing it back to you asap 😃
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You created it all. You created love and darkness, everything ever existed. Once you see this, you don't get carried away with small things, you see the bigger picture.
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You might go, 'Yeah but what about my needs?' You communicate them openly and vulnerably as they are. The fear might be that they might leave or not take it well. When you're being yourself and that person is leaving, its good that they're leaving. Then the nature will fill that void. If they're receiving your vulnerability, that's awesome. So it always turns out great when you follow your truth.
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So when you love someone, and that person is triggering you:
- Look and see them for who they truly are. See the pure love in them. They might be having a tough time at the moment but that's not who they are.
- See their gifts. What are they good at? What are they not great at? That's just who they are. Accept it all.
- Be honest about if you love them because they are the way you want them to be or they are purely themselves and you love them for that.
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Let me know your thoughts below 💛
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Much love to you💞
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