letting go of control

✨ DEATH ✨

Death is in a way, letting go.

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Often death is overlooked as a “bad” thing. It’s something not many people are willing to talk about. It makes most people uncomfortable. It makes them face their darkness.
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Death can also be a closure, letting go, a new chapter and transformation. It can be a great teacher.
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In order to create and grow, sometimes you need to let go of an older version of you. Maybe the next part of your life requires a different version of you.
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When a part of you wants to move forward but another part of you holds on for dear life, then you feel stuck. So you stay where you are in agony. Where you go will be determined by which part you choose to give more power and energy to.
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In metamorphosis, there’s a stage where the caterpillar stops being a caterpillar, its not a butterfly yet either. Then it makes up the beautiful parts of the butterfly and becomes it. It doesn’t go, “Actually I changed my mind, can I be a caterpillar again please?” Now you’re not a butterfly, you can change your mind and go back to safety and compromise of course. But if it’s not fulfilling, why would you? 🦋
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If you’re going through that weird in between phase where you’re not where you used to be but you’re not where you want to be either, here are few reminders for you:
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✨ Trust that you have everything you need. You came up until this point, what makes you think you won’t be able to make it after this? Trust that you will be held in the unknown until you find your feet again.
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✨ Let go of control and the need to know. You only know what happened in the past, you don’t know what will happen in thr future. And you can’t control it. Surrender and trust.
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✨ Let everything go. Let go of the idea of who you used to be. Let go of the past. Let go of expectations.
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✨ Don’t compare yourself with others. You have no idea what they’re going through. Once you talk with them and if they’re honest, you’ll find out no one has their sh*t together.
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✨ Once you see the lesson, there’s no need to hold on. Give thanks and move on. Would you rather be right or free?
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If you feel like this is where you are and you’d like some support in letting go, come to the group breathwork journey this Friday 🔥
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I care about people connecting to who they truly are. Underneath all the layers, who are you? This requires letting go on some levels. Breathwork can be a very powerful and fast way to do this. That’s why I love it ❤️
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We have 10 spaces left.
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27 Sept Friday
Centre 151, Haggerston
6:30-9:30pm
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Link to book is below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4330099
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Come join! 😍❤️🔥
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I love you 💛
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🙏🏼 I GAVE A TALK THE OTHER DAY 🙏🏼

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I talked about surrendering to love at LOVEx Talks Sex and Relationships on Tuesday 😍

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Standing up and talking vulnerably and openly infront of 50 people felt like the scariest thing I’ve done in a long time. I’ve been avoiding talking and it was about time.
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I want to tell how this came about as it was a great lesson for me.
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Some of you read my ‘I want to surrender’, the post about lovemaking. Here it is if you haven’t :
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https://www.facebook.com/isik.tlabar/posts/10160031020585300
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3 weeks ago, the organizer of LOVEx Talks Scott, read it and reached out to me saying he loved the way i wrote it, geniune, open and beautiful and would love me to speak at the event.
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So I said yes, I’d love to 😍
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I gave a Goddess Circle workshop the day before so I was focusing on that up until then. When the day came, I was pretty nervous, my thoughts were going in loops and I was forgetting to eat.
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Anyway, the day went by, arrived at the venue, went up there, feeling super nervous. I talked about letting go of the need to control, being vulnerable, surrender in relationships and also in lovemaking.
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It’s easy to sit and watch speakers and judge them but it’s a whole another reality when you go up there yourself. It’s pretty surreal, I can’t even remember what I said. Later on, I found out as I was speaking, a guy outside on the street was playing Imagine by John Lennon. It made me teary, that song literally is the world I want to live in.
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One of the many things that touched me afterwards was that 2 Turkish women came up to me saying, its inspiring to see someone from the same sexually repressed background putting herself out there sharing about these topics. They thanked me, I felt so grateful 😍 (I am Turkish, I grew up in Istanbul then moved to UK when I was 18.)
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A part of me always believed I have to go to networking events, do webinars etc, do all these things to be visible. But actually, I just have to write.
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Writing is my medicine, its how I realise, let go, forgive, feel, grieve, integrate, complete and move on. The bonus side of it is when I share, I find that so many people resonate with them. So when I just write and share, all these magical things come to me as a confirmation of what I’m doing is true. An opportunity to speak, to write in a magazine as a monthly columnist and to collaborate to run a women’s retreat ❤️ (Will share more on the last one soon 😉)
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It took me few days to digest, integrate what happened but I feel like now I adjusted to this new energy. Ready for the next level 😍
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This showed me, once again, always do what’s true and the rest will take care of itself ✨
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Sending you love 💛
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