Awareness

✨ MAGIC OF THE DAY ✨

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I was sitting at this cafe the other day, doing my morning pages that slightly turned into afternoon pages. They’re 3 pages of journaling of whatever comes to your mind, like a brain dump. Julia Cameron created them.

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Then a lovely woman approached me asking me what I was writing about so intensely 😃 I told her, turns out she does the morning pages too! We started chatting, she asked me what I listen to when I write, I showed her this playlist:
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https://open.spotify.com/…/spotify/…/37i9dQZF1DX3Ogo9pFvBkY…
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Yesterday we met up for a coffee at the same cafe, she’s beautiful and we had a lot to talk about from writing, creativity to self discovery ❤️
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If you want to go up and talk to a stranger, do it. You never know where it might lead you ☺️
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Have a beautiful afternoon 💛
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💫 SURRENDER TO YOUR EMOTIONS 💫

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I’m learning the balance of allowing myself to feel sadness, grief and loss while creating and doing my work. I have no control over this at the moment. The more I surrender to my emotions, the more they transform and I’m able to create from that space. 

Life comes with it’s highs and lows. People mostly share about the highs which I find is easy to share. I don’t see many people sharing about lows openly and honestly until I meet up with them and they tell me that’s exactly how they felt 😃 Maybe it’s because of not wanting to go there again or maybe the desire to be vulnerable to a controlled extent where they still get to keep their appearances. 

The lows are where you become who you are. They’re the your stones that turn into diamonds. They’re the richness of life, raw, real and vulnerable.

The most loving and compassionate people I met are the ones who went through hell, who faced their darkness, their lows and went out from the other side, transformed. You don’t become a beautiful person by only experiencing happiness, joy, bliss etc. You can’t have depth with only experiencing these emotions. If you only allow yourself to feel those ones, you’re living your life in denial, removed from life itself. You’re not living fully.

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. It can make you a closed hearted, resentful, fearful and angry person towards life as well. But when you accept what’s happening and surrender, you grow from it. The more you resist it, the more it’s going to carry on.

Especially if you menstruate and bleed regularly, before and during period is a time where all your stuff comes up. If you look closely, that period pain is telling you something. That feeling of loneliness, sadness etc is there to be felt fully. Allow it before you jump to wanting to fix it. Painkillers are not the answer.

Over the years, especially when I was small, I learnt to be joyful and interested to make friends. And I got good at it. I can make friends with anyone. I love that side of me which is being a social butterfly. It makes me feel alive and connected. 

I also have a super depressed side to me that just doesn’t want anything to do with life. It wants to hide in a room, curl up into a ball and not exist for a while. In that egoic pattern, I can’t even cry. I don’t feel, I’m completely numb and apathetic.

Now I’m learning to accept that side, talk to it, write about it, love it and transform it. Every emotion moves through you when you allow it ❤️

Acceptance is the key. If you’re not accepting as life shows you things, you can’t move forward. You’re stuck. Accept that your loved one passed away, accept that you’ve been cheated on, accept that your friend stabbed you in the back. For your own freedom, see the situation for what it is without putting a meaning to it.

I saw a beautiful friend of mine last week. After catching up, she told me I felt more loving, grounded and accepting. See in my head, everything is turning upside down and I’m loosing my shit. If you feel like that, have an honest reflection from a close friend and don’t beat yourself up. You might be doing so much better than you think you are 😉

Here’s how you can process emotions like sadness, loss, grief:

- Accept that you feel sad. Even this can be revolutionary if you usually deny your sadness. It doesn’t mean anything, it just mean that you feel sad. You’re a human with emotions.

- Close your eyes. Take 5 deep breaths into your belly while allowing the feeling to be there. 

- If you feel teary, let those tears come. If you feel rage, let the rage be there.

- Out loud, say how you feel, to the person you’re angry at, or to yourself while feeling sad. Say anything else that wants to come out.

- Hold and hug yourself.

- (If you find it challenging to get into the feeling, start writing how you feel and let the feeling talk without censoring.)

And remember, after a low, there’s always a high. Crying is not weak, it’s powerful. It’s a gift for yourself from yourself in form of a beautiful release. After big good cries I always feel lifted, calm, grounded and happy. I feel joy starting to come in again in mini waves. 

If you have a job and have things to do, allow yourself that 30 min to feel, to not do anything but to be with your pain like you would do for a friend. Whenever I go inwards, cry, write, someone books their place in my workshop or wants to have a session with me. Always. It happened today as I wrote this post.

Any unprocessed emotions will stay in your body until you feel it fully. It’s the fear of feeling we’re scared of. Once you’re in it, it’s not actually that bad. But the disconnection you have from feeling reveals itself as chronic pain, a disease, numbness. It can even effect your face. For example the left side of your face can change becoming heavier.

I went to 5rhythms movement class the other day. One of the dancers just got qualified in teaching, so the teacher invited her into the huge circle of maybe 70 people. She went in with pure joy, ecstasy, celebrating herself and her success. Then she invited everyone else to join in. Few people joined in. Everyone else was clapping in the outside circle. I watched them, I watched the people in the middle dancing, smiling and laughing. That’s when it hit me:

✨ In life, you have to participate ✨

Whatever it is, wherever you are, however you’re feeling, bring that into your life. Don’t exclude your sadness, your insecurities, include them. Show them to people, love them. 

If you want to feel your emotions fully and transform any heaviness, shame, frustration, sadness, come to breathwork next Thursday, the 15th. Bring all of you to the table. Even the parts you don’t accept or love about you as they will hunt you back until you learn to love them ❤️

Make sure to book your ticket if you want to join, we’re half full now. Here’s the link to book:

https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3745467

Happy new moon, a new beginning 🌕 

Sending you so much love and big hugs 💛

⭐️ SHARING FROM ABUNDANCE ⭐️

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This post is for you guys, you coaches, teachers. healers, practitioners, speakers, givers ❤️ 

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It’s about sharing from abundance (love) rather than sharing from lack (fear).

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In the end of the breathwork journeys I hold, I always promote the assistants’ events or offerings. I send a follow up email the next day to recommend events I’ve been to and found them powerful.

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This is something I do naturally since I was a kid. Whatever I have, I’d share it without wanting anything in return.

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When people ask me how I get clients or fill my breathwork and women’s events, I don’t have a specific answer. Breathwork ones are the most magical ones, they bring me alive. Of course there are practicals I do such as creating a fb event, inviting people in and sending a newsletter twice a month to 400 subscribers. Then maybe a post here and there. But that’s pretty much it.

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Behind the scenes, what I do is, I imagine 20-28 people in the room, breathing, going into their darkest places, feeling it all, releasing and coming back to their full power. I imagine this a month before the event, 3 weeks before, the week before, when I’m on the bus, when I’m eating my breakfast, I send love to those people I haven’t met yet. Love is the most powerful force on the planet. It transforms everything, it’s magnetic. And those people show up.

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Last breathwork we held was 23 people, I didn’t know half the room, they were all referrals. This is what happens with love, it rippels out to people you don’t even know ❤️

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You can’t use love as a way to manipulate to get what you want. Same as you can’t manipulate yourself into feeling grateful. It has to be natural. It has to come from your heart, from a pure place of no expectations. I don’t expect the room to fill up, but I imagine people coming back to themselves, loving themselves. That’s all I want, a world where people feel they can be themselves ✨

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It’s easy to assume that there are limited amount of people you can help. If there is a potential person who can attend your event, it can be tempting to hold onto them and resent them when they don’t turn up after saying they will. Remember, people don’t owe you anything. Set them free. They can change their minds and that’s ok. There are billions of people on this planet and there is never too many coaches, healers to help people. It’s now more than ever we need you guys. To step in to serve and give.

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✨ What if people copy me?✨

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That’s actually a good thing. It shows that what you’re doing is working. Focus on serving rather than worrying other people stealing your stuff. When people copy you, they can never copy you fully. They’re not you, they don’t embody your energy. 

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Nothing belongs to you. You don’t own anything. You are in a way a channel for love and wisdom to move through you. Let it flow. A dear client of mine I haven’t seen in few months, reached out and told me that she’s been sharing what I told her, “You teach what you struggle with the most.” It made me cry with gratitude as I don’t even remember saying that but it reached a deep part of her that she’s sharing it now with others.

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✨But I’m not healed yet, how can I help others? ✨

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You can choose to wait until “you’ve healed yourself” but that’s never going to happen. All you need is to come to a point where you have awareness about your Ego, remove yourself from it for a moment, so you can help someone in a similar situation.

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I can be in deep grief and help someone process their grief. It’s authentic, it’s real because I’ve been there, I’ve felt it. Embodying it is much more powerful than having the knowledge. Being human is much more important than being an expert. Since my dad’s death, I’m able to hold more sadness and grief in the space. 

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Sometimes in the beginning of a workshop, I tell the participants I’m in deep grief and let’s do this. You don’t have to be this incredible and perfect leader, you just have to show up as you are. They signed up for this, because of your energy. Not the venue, not the music, not the assistant, but you. This is your creation 🔥

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If you want to learn how to operate from love and have a natural abundance in your business through giving and surrender, I offer coaching and healing (that actually works) for you spaceholders, coaches, healers, speakers. I’m offering a 20% discount until the end of the year. If you’re interested, just message me.

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Feel free to share this post if it resonated with you ❤️

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Sending you love and blessings 🙏🏼✨

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✨ A NEW BEGINNING ✨

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I got a new tattoo last week!

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It’s a butterfly that was flying around at my dad’s funeral 1.5 months ago. It was there for 20 minutes, even when it was raining a little.
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I love how when butterflies come out from the cocoon, they actually need to rip the cocoon themselves to strengthen their wings. If you go and rip it for them, they die. It’s in the hardship they strengthen their beautiful wings.
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I like having a tattoo as a ritual, to have an intention that will go into it and will remind me every time I look at it.
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This one’s about many things. It’s about the hardship that makes you beautiful and who you are when you surrender. It’s about my dad’s love and presence as well as my masculine love and presence being with me. It’s about not needing validation from men anymore.
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I have a low pain threshold and it hurt like hell. So I kept repeating the words like mantra, strength and grace, empowered action, new beginning, masculine love and presence ✨
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Thank you Andrea Giulimondi Tattooer for the beautiful art 🙏🏼
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Here’s to a new beginning. It’s time to fly ✨
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Loads of love to you ❤️
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2 days ago, we had an epic ride holding a breathwork journey 😍

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It’s an honour to see 23 people willing to go deep within themselves, knowing it’s safe and ok to feel, facing their darkness and coming out from the other side feeling empowered, transformed and alive 🔥

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Thank you Aaron and Natalie for your energy, love and presence in the space. Love you ❤️
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Here are some of the feedback from the participants:
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"It was a beautiful experience which gave me the opportunity to face my fear, express it, go through it and feel empowered afterwards. Thank you."

"You never know what you need until you do the work and then receive it. Simply magical."

"Safe space to connect with yourself, feel your emotions and release them. Opportunity to connect with other beautiful souls."

"Magically surreal. Way more powerful than I imagined and something I struggle to put into words but can't wait to experience again."

"Transformational, empowering and 100% necessary!"

"It really awakened me to sensations, it made me more present."

"The atmosphere is so beautiful! A safe space to be yourself."

"Thank you for this beautiful space - feel very safe and loved to allow myself to let go and surrender. So powerful!"

"The opportunity to learn more about yourself and release any blocks/stagnant energy held within your body."
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The next one’s on the 15th November, 6:30pm. You can get a £5 off using the code DISCOUNT if you book before Tuesday ✨
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Here’s the link to book:
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3745467
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Have a beautiful rest of the weekend! ❤️
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Last Saturday the 20th October was my birthday!

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Thank you everyone for your beautiful and loving birthday messages ❤️

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The night leading up to my birthday, I stayed over at Aaron’s. He placed 26 candles all across his room, each one to be blown after making a wish. I went around blowing the candles, making wishes. It showed me what love can look and feel like even after a breakup. 

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On my birthday, I thought I’d be sad not having my dad around for the first time. I did, I also felt grateful for everyone in my life and everything I have including the tea the nail’s place offered me after hearing me coughing ❤️
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I had a very chilled gathering with few of my friends, received plants, flowers, cards, calls, words, ferrero rochers, lots of hugs and kisses 😍
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We also raised £420 here on Facebook for PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide! Thank you for contributing!
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Thank you for being in my life everyone, in real life or on here reading what I write 😍
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Wishing you a beautiful evening ✨
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10 days ago, I went to the Hay House UK’s Writer’s Workshop in Bristol ❤️

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The speakers were:

✨ Reid Tracy ~ CEO of Hay House

✨ Michelle Pilley ~ Publisher and Managing Director of Hay House UK
✨ Julia Cameron ~ Author of The Artist’s Way
✨ David Hamilton ~ Author of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body
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It was beautiful to see how humble they were. While reaching thousands of people, they kept their humanness, passion and love for doing what they do. They purely wanted to give and serve and wanted nothing in return. When you serve from a place of truth and generosity, not manipulation people receive and they truly shift.
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I asked a question on the second day feeling super nervous. I found many reasons to talk myself out of asking it. Then I felt that resistance I feel when I know something is true to do. So I asked and got the answer. As soon as I sat down, the woman sitting behind me recommended me the book I exactly needed. She couldn’t have done that if I didn’t stand up and asked my question. If in doubt, ask that question 😉💛
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I thought I’d feel a little daunted knowing about the process of getting your book out there but it was so inspiring to find out about it all. And so lovely to hang out with my friends Nicolas, Marium, Karin and meet so many beautiful people on their writing journey ✨
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Thank you Hay House for organising and holding such a beautiful and informative event. You change so many lives ❤️
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Have a gorgeous evening!
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#writersworkshop2018

Breathwork journey is now sold out! 😍

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So we’ve increased our capacity. We have 4 SPACES LEFT now for the breathwork journey on Thursday 🔥

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Centre 151, Haggerston
6:30-9:30pm
£25
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We’re usually told to be good boy and girl as we grew up. So feeling emotions like sadness, anger, resentment, that could go against our conditioning can be frustrating.
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Here, you’ll have full permission to be yourself and to feel any emotions knowing there’s no shame or judgment in a safe and loving space. The only way out is through and you’ll be held beautifully through this powerful journey 🙏🏼
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I’ve received many feedbacks now from the participants and the assistants to say that: this is the shit, just come.
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You can book your place through the link below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3621581
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Have a gorgeous week ❤️😘
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💛 END OF A CHAPTER 💛

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It took me 7 months to finally share this post. I was in process of feeling and now I’m in a place where it feels complete and I can share it. So here it goes:

Aaron and I had been together on and off since our initial breakup in February, but two days ago was our final day as a couple.

We initially broke up gradually over 5 weeks back in February. Rather than cutting each other off and being strangers overnight, we held each other through the grief and sadness. After that, Aaron went to Panama to Tribal Gathering, I moved into my own flat and we had a few weeks of not talking to each other. 

After a while, we started to be intimate again. We tried open relationship to polyamory (intimate relationship with more than one person), being lovers to being committed intimate partners to not having any labels. At some point we were friends and seeing other people, at some point we didn’t speak at all. 

Every time we didn’t speak to each other for long periods of time, it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

In this process, we became two different people. The relationship energy we had initially was gone and two new people met for the first time. Every time, we went deeper into intimacy and deeper into love.

You need to know yourself and know what you want. If you don’t, you’re going to loose yourself in your relationships. Whether you choose to be non-monogamous or monogamous, you will be carrying the same wound to any form of relating.

Non-monogamy can be a beautiful way to go deeper within yourself to dive into your wounds and shed light on them. It could be a great way to ask for what you want, speak your truth, practice your boundaries or enjoying your sexuality, breaking through the shame and guilt.

Or it could also be a way to avoid commitment, a coping mechanism to feeling not good enough to be your partner’s only lover, feeling unworthy to ask for a closed relationship, fear of missing out or fear of going deep into intimacy, being devoted to one another. 

There were times I got the hang of it and there were times I fucked up. After exploring back and forth, I came to the conclusion that I like monogamy. I love surrendering into one another and creating a sacred space only two people share.

2 days ago, we both saw that this intimate relationship we created, grew and shared together over the last two years was not serving us anymore. Aaron came over to my place and we sat down, instantly we both broke into tears. Without saying a word, we both knew it was the end. It felt unreal but so true. We tried everything but it didn’t work.

It’s easy to break up with someone when you hate each other, but it’s so hard when you have so much love for one another. It’s easy to break up when you just met someone incredible that could be your new partner, but it’s so hard when you haven’t met that person yet, and you both choose being single so it serves you both, no matter how much it hurts.

No matter how much love you put into something, if it’s not right, it’s not going to work. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

This relationship showed me what I want, what is possible. It showed me the depth, vulnerability and honesty two people can journey into. It showed me I don’t need anything from men anymore, I got it all within me. I can stop searching, now that I see what a relationship could look and feel like. It showed me that my body’s a sacred temple and to not let anyone in who doesn’t deserve to be there.

We had 3 intense breakups and coming back to love each time, to keep surrendering into love through the pain and hurt, to keep choosing love.

Aaron and I will always be in each other’s life. I feel deep sadness, grief, loss combined with my dad’s loss but also relief that we are doing what is true. We are always going to be friends, brother and sister.

I especially want to thank our mutual friend Amanda for seeing us go back and forth and sticking with us through it all and choosing to love us even when she saw when we were not right for each other. I love you so much Amanda and so grateful for you 💛

I want to finish with what Aaron said to me when we made love for the last time. If you’re a woman, receive this as the masculine talking to you ❤️

“Your sexuality is one of your greatest gifts.

You are the most expensive meal on the menu.

You are the diamond that shines the brightest in the store.

You are the greatest gift you can receive at Christmas.

Do not give yourself away cheaply.

The level of love you give, it’s a level people can’t imagine.

Don’t allow a man to enter you without feeling your body.

Make sure the man feels right, deep within you, before you are intimate with him and share your sacred energy

Feel your body, womb and heart.

What do they say?

Don’t give yourself away freely to anybody.”

Feel free to share this if it touched somewhere in your heart ❤️

Love you 💛

💫 OTHER PEOPLE ARE DRAINING MY ENERGY 💫

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I hear this a lot and will share few words on it.

You might feel like you have limited energy and you need to save it in order to give it to the right things. You might feel like you have to protect yourself from people and the world. Or you might feel like your energy is keep being drained by people around you.
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The truth is our energy is infinite, we get it from a higher source. But if you live in a lack mentality, you’re going to feel like it is limited and you need to save it. It’s a fear based decision.
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If you believe other people drain your energy, guess what you’re going to attract? People draining your energy ☺️ Congratulations you created your reality.
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But when you know that you’re powerful and there’s nothing out there that can drain you unless you allow it, you’re cool. Then from an empowered place, you can choose who you want to hang out with. The decision will be coming from self love and respect, not fear 🌻
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I used to be this person, walking around feeling scared about when would be the next time my energy will be drained by some people. I was actively seeking it in a way, I was expecting it. Then it would happen, unsurprisingly.
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Don’t use being an empath as an excuse to not step into your power. You can feel everyone’s energy and still know which one is yours. You can help others and also choose not to help those who are not ready to receive it. You can be loving and kind and also set a boundary for yourself.
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Try this next time you feel like people are draining your energy:
- Close your eyes.
- Notice how you feel.
- Remember that they are just people, not God, not Jesus, not some supernatural being. They don’t have power over you.
- Imagine your energy is coming back to you.
- Imagine you’re sending their energy back to them as well.
- When your energy comes back, put your hand on your heart and say in your mind, “This is me. This is my energy and I decide what I want to do with it.”
- Have a coconut mocha 😃
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Or when you’re in your energy feeling grounded, just tell yourself “This is me”, anchor that feeling of what it feels like to be in your energy so you have a reference point. When someone steps in and you notice the difference you can have unagi (Friends 😍).
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Let me know if you have any questions 🙏🏼 Have a gorgeous day!
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Love you ❤️
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