to do lists

😣 OVERWHELM 😣

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This is an interesting topic as it comes into my life every now and then.

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I find that it’s not about completely removing stress, overwhelm and anxiety. It’s about accepting their existence and learning to play with them when they come out to work.

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Overwhelm comes from needing to do everything on your own so you can control the outcome. When you feel like you have to do everything on your own, you can ask for help and receive it gracefully. There are people out there when they help, it brings them joy, when you push away support, you rob them from the joy of giving as well.

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Overwhelm comes from control. When you see there are way too many options that you can’t control, you go into overwhelm. It happens when things are happening real quick and you feel it’s growing out of your control so you shut down to get back in the control seat. 

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This happened to me few weeks ago, when Aaron and I were seperating, I was searching to find a new home to start living on my own, had 2 workshops in one week, had one day to pack everything and few other things were going on which I forgot now. I was sitting, thinking about all the things I need to do in a neverending loop. I was going into overthinking and panic.

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It’s not because a lot was going on. It was about how I was responding to the things that were going on. If you think its hard and overwhelming, it’s going to be hard and overwhelming which takes the joy out of what you are doing. What you normally do with joy becomes just another task added to your to do list. If you connect to love you have about all these things you’re doing, then ease, flow and joy will come back into it. 

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Underneath all the overwhelm, I love giving workshops and I actually loved the house search, creating a new home. As soon as I stop trying so hard, get out of the overwhelm and connect back to the joy, someone books a ticket to one of my workshops. It’s mindblowing, every single time.

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Another one happened right today actually, there was a lot going on that I felt like was happening out of my control. I saw that I created most of it in my head. I made it more than what it is and created a huge wall to climb that overwhelmed me, but in truth there was no wall, everything was actually ok 😂

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Overwhelm also comes from trying to plan out the next five years. If you are honest and true to yourself, you’ll see that who you are changes every moment of every day. If you plan out your next five years you’ll be planning it from where you are right now. Your circumstances might change tomorrow and your control to stick to your plans might push away all the opportunities out there. I’m not saying go with the wind every day and have no plan whatsoever, but instead have a goal, a vision, a destination you want to arrive at. Find your next true action, take that and keep your awareness open to people, resources coming to you. Repeat this as you go.

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I stopped doing to-do lists 1.5 years ago just to try it out for two weeks. It turned out to be one of the best things I did. I didn’t like it in the beginning, especially the uneasy feeling of letting go of control. In the end, it allowed my heart and intuition to come in more into my life.

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Funnily enough, I started remembering things I thought I’d forget because I didn’t have a to do list. More ideas started flowing to me because I was being more present. Whatever had priority would naturally pop into my mind and I’d do it straight away rather than writing it down to do later. I set reminders now if I’m meant to send a newsletter, call someone etc. I use calendar obviously but other than that I don’t do to-do lists. The temptation is there but I know it takes me into a frantic overdrive mode, so I don’t do it.

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Whatever I go through in my life, my clients do as well, sometimes we’re synced daily, it’s so interesting. So whenever I am in overwhelm, I have few clients in overwhelm as well, being a great mirror to me without even realising, gets me out of my overwhelm instantly. I’m super grateful for them 🙌🏼

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Next time you’re trying to juggle way too many balls and feeling overwhelmed, follow these steps:

- Notice you’re in overwhelm, name that it’s overwhelm

- Close your eyes, take a deep breath, sigh it out

- Notice what thoughts you’re telling yourself, what meaning you’re putting to the situation

- Imagine rising above the situation, floating above it, looking at it from a higher perspective

- Ask, ‘What’s number one priority right now?’

- Do that. Don’t go into planning the rest before you do that

- Repeat rising above and finding what’s priority as you need.

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If you do to-do lists and have bit of an addictive relationship with them, go for a week without doing one and see what happens 😉 Then assess again after a week, don’t judge the situation before then and move from there ✨

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Sending you loads of love 💛

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