fear of the unknown

I finished reading The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho today.

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I want to share this quote from the book with you👇🏼

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“I’m afraid of taking steps that are not on the map, but by taking those steps despite my fears, I have a much more interesting life.”

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Life is what you make it. We often grow up following a path that is set out without questioning if its even true for us. There is no set way of living your life. What we’re taught is only one version. If that doesn’t resonate, go out and explore. It’s never too late. Try things. Make mistakes. No one will tell you off.
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I’m in the unknown most of the time. Half the time, I feel scared or anxious. Half the time, I trust and surrender. I wouldn’t have it any other way as there is no magic or growth on the safe side of controlled living.
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People tell me I’m courageous and here’s why: In those moments of fear, I go forward because I don’t want to live with the regret of thinking what would have happened if I did take a chance. Living fully and not wanting to regret becomes stronger than the fear stopping me. When you take a risk, universe rewards you, so it turns out great most of the time. And even when I f*ck up big time, I have a lesson to take away.
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Start doing what you want to do and everything else will be revealed to you. Have one foot in the responsibilities in your current reality and one foot in the next steps in your vision. Take it one small step at a time 🤗
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I love you 💛
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🐛 GROWTH: BEING IN THE UNKNOWN 🐛

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Most conversations I have these days is about this topic, so its time to write about it ☺️

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Why does some people find it hard to be in the unknown and some live in it daily with such ease?

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It's about surrender. When you stop resisting, start surrendering to that uncertainty and being ok with that, opportunities will show themselves, you'll meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

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Look at children. Not the adulty ones that correct you all the time, the ones that are in awe, wonder and curiosity about life. They know that things are going to be ok, they trust, they're open. In that space even the smallest thing they come across can become an adventure because they're in a receptive state, paying attention to everything and noticing everything.

"Yeah but we're not kids anymore, we have bills to pay."

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Ok, the other choice you can make is to be in the known. Have all your steps sorted on a spreadsheet for the next 10 years. But that's boring. It's a total compromise, settling in for less than what is possible for you. You'll get to the point where you want to be and then go, 'Now what?'. You might feel empty. You already knew all the steps along the way. There were no surprises and excitement in that journey. Where you got in the end might not be exciting either.

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Also if you're being true to yourself and following your dreams, this option won't work. You'll eventually do some research and ask others who've done this transition and are happy now. Then when you feel like you're ready, you'll give up on the security, be in the unknown and make your dreams your reality. Why would you wait until you reach that point? You might as well start now. If you wait until you're ready that won't happen either. 

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I'm not saying start tomorrow, but know that outside circumstances will not align themselves to you so you feel ready. You'll start, then things outside will shift and align themselves to your decision. 

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There might be times you might feel uncertain, wobbly, feeling like there are no guides to follow, that you're alone in this, this will last forever and feeling like giving up, there's no point to this. Know that its a temporary feeling, its a transition. And it's your Ego, your mind, freaking out, trying to keep you where you're at, that's all. 

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When a baby is in the womb, it trusts and knows that it's going to be warm, safe and will have food. When you're born, you somehow loose that trust and security. Why not keep it? Knowing that you're held and safe, you're an adult now and even in the worst situation you can look after yourself.

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1.5 years ago I had this life coach. Back then I knew I didn't want to do architecture which is what I studied. We came down to 3 options I want to follow. They were working with kids, creating eco villages or opening people's heart. We wrote these options in three pieces of paper and she placed them on 3 chairs. She asked me to sit one by one on each chair to see what they were about. 

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I sat on the opening people's heart one first, the one I was most resistant to sit on. Thought I'll get it out of the way 😃 I held the paper and said 'I have no idea what this is.' I literally didn't know. I just knew it was something to do with opening people's hearts, that's the only thing I knew. She didn't say anything, just held me in that space. I felt that unknown, super uncomfortable feeling. I wanted to know how to get there and had no idea. Few moments later, the feeling passed and I didn't die. 

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1.5 years after, here I am, doing that, being in the unknown nearly every day. (Eco villages never happened btw, it was my Ego trying to use what I did in the past because it was afraid to let go of that, but I did work with kids 😉)

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When you feel terrified of the unknown, follow these steps:

- Stay with that not knowing feeling. How does that feel? Where do you feel it in your body? Really feel it. It's the only way to go past it, don't resist it.

- What is that feeling telling you to do? 

- Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Imagine you're a floating light looking at the situation from above. What's the truth?

- What's the next step you can take to be in that truth?

- Follow through on that :)

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As you move towards what you want, things will become clearer and your Ego will relax a bit, once it sees tangible result. It will go, 'Oh cool, this works.' Until that point, keep refocusing yourself back to that direction and keep going 😍

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Whenever you move into the new and unknown, there's an opportunity for growth and magic to unfold. Allow it. Know that you're held. It's the only way to grow, being in the unknown.

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I promise you, when you get comfortable with being in the unknown, your whole life will change. 

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Let me know your thoughts 😍

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Love you 😘❤️

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