sweat your prayers

I was going to go to the forest to dance and film.

I saw the weather and thought, “Nah, I’ll dance in my flat instead.” 😃

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Last night, I randomly thought of the movie Les Choristes. I haven’t thought about it in years. I love this movie. It’s a story of some naughty French kids loving singing in a choir being taught by an incredible heartfelt teacher who really believes in them. 

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My dad loved the movie and I remember him listening and humming to the soundtrack. I put the soundtrack on. Last time I listened to it, I was with him. I allowed myself to miss my dad and had a good wail to it. Then few other losses came to me like a trail following one another. I followed them and cried my eyes out.
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15 minutes later, I was laughing. I love seeing over and over again how grief is so close to joy. They’re like sisters. You think they’re the opposite but they’re so similar 😊 When you go into one of them fully, you circle back to the other one.
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I’m grateful I can see how every moment is passing. I still hold on and try to keep the highs sometimes. I know it will go, its natural for it to transforms into something else so I make a video of me talking to myself reminding of this time, I journal about it and I enjoy it while its there. Then when the lows come I know that will go too, so I don’t get too caught up in it.
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I surrender to it all ✨
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I love you 💛
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🎶 El Búho - Heatwaves and Hurricanes