communicate with your child

👦🏽 TRIGGERS IN FAMILY: COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILDREN 👧🏽

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This post came out from what I observe around me for years, my experience and what I saw when few parents told me their issues they're having with their children.

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I'm not a parent but I have pretty sick observing skills and awareness, so bare with me 😃
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If you're a parent, you're going to have conflict with your children at some point, it's inevitable.
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You will not agree with your child, at times they will annoy you. They will mirror you aspects of yourself which you haven't seen or resolved from the past..
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It's a blessing and a burden at the same time. It's totally up to you to decide how to perceive it. You can see it as an opportunity for growth or an obstacle.
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Infinite amount of love can turn into infinite amount of annoyance if you choose the second 😂 Then followed by guilt because how can you be so angry at someone you love so much, your own daughter or son..
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In those moments, listening to your children is the key. When I say listen, I'm not talking about staying silent while you have a storm going on inside you. Your child will feel that and close themselves off.
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What I mean is being fully present with them, parking everything at the side for a while and giving them all your attention to really hear them out.
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Next time your daughter or son is disagreeing with you, try these out:
- Take a deep breath.
- Notice how you feel.
- Name how you feel (in your mind).
- Imagine you have your own bubble of energy around you. Imagine they have one too.
- Imagine you enter their energy field.
- Now listen. Give all your attention to them. Leave your phone, stop looking at tv, fully focus on them.
- Ask questions to clarify, to fully understand. You can say things like, 'From what I heard, it sounds like you .... Is that right?'
- Then hear them out.
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Open communication and true listening are two things you need, not just in your relationship with your children but in all relationships..
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Here's another example:
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Let's say you have a 16 year old who doesn't give you much info about their day at school and gets angry all the time.
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When they come home, you ask them how their day went and you get a simple 'fine'.
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Don't ask yes or no questions. Then you're asking and guiding them to give the answer you want to hear. Ask them what they're up to these days for example and allow them to lead the conversation. Be curious and if they sense your curiosity, they'll open up.
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It's ok if it doesn't work at the first go. Some may test you when they see a change, to see if the change is real lol. So they'll push you at times. Be patient and know that you're doing your best.
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You're doing the best you can with where you are right now. And it's ok to make mistakes as you're a human too, no one's perfect.
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Much love to you all lovely parents 💞
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You're doing the most important job on the planet 😍
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