✨💛 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SETS YOU FREE 💛✨

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Unconditional love is loving with freedom.

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It is loving without conditions. Rather than saying “I’m only going to love if you ...”, loving with freedom says, “I’m going to love you either way.” In doing so, you’re actually loving all parts of you as well, without conditions.

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It’s about letting the other person be themselves in all their quirks and everything that makes them who they are rather than shutting them down.

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It’s about not taking each other for granted. You don’t have to be in an open relationship or be polyamorous. Even when you’re in a closed relationship, it’s about setting each other free every day and being grateful for keep choosing each other.

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So how do you love with freedom?

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You don’t expect the other person to resolve your unmet needs as a child. You love them for the sake of sharing love.

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Expecting someone you just met to make up for all the times you felt not good enough, unloved or abandoned is not fair on both of you.

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Go into all your wounds and comfort that little girl or boy in you. Give her the love she wish she received from her dad. Give him the love he wish he received from his mum. Then with your partner, you can come back to love.

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It’s never about them. They’re triggering in you for example how your mum made you feel unloved by being cold and distant or how your dad made you feel not good enough by never showing you how proud he was of you. It’s always your mum and dad playing out, not the person infront of you. It’s not personal.

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I love this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh (will never know how to pronounce that):

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“Love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

My friend told me the other day, “I feel like I don’t need to filter anything with you. I can be completely transparent, completely myself. I feel free.” For me, that’s an honour to know that when someone I love hangs out with me, they feel like they’re hanging out with themselves.

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My default mode in relationships is controlling, not gonna lie. When I’m triggered or feel like I’m under threat, I try to control. So I know what it feels like to attempt to create safety by controlling, doesn’t work 😂 I’m grateful for coming to a place where I can say, “I can love freely now.”

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If you resonate with the need to create safety by controlling, create that safety within yourself first. Hold yourself and give yourself what you want your partner to give you. Ask each other how you can support one another to feel safe. Ask each other how you feel loved and what your needs are.

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Same applies to all relationships with your family, friends, collegues etc, not just in intimate relationships. Love in a way that you want what’s best for them, not what’s in your benefit. Half of my closest friends live in different continents right now. I miss them of course, but I’m so happy for them for following their truth. That’s what love does, it chooses what’s in the highest not what will be more beneficial to you.

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Here are some steps to come back to loving with freedom:

- Close your eyes

- Take a deep breath in.

- Notice how you’re feeling. What’s the emotion? Is it sadness, anxiety, fear etc?

- In that scenario, what are you believing about yourself?

- When was the earliest time you felt this?

- Let that scenario unfold. (For example - you’re 3 and your mum and dad are arguing.

- Imagine standing infront of them and tell them out loud what you wish you said at the time.

- Imagine seeing the scenario from a higher perspective now, see for what it is. See their pain. Why did they act the way they did?

- Can you forgive them for that? If you do, tell them.

- Give them a hug. (If you feel like it)

- Let that go. Bring your awareness to the situation you have today.

- Now knowing you’re whole and complete as you, ask “What would be in the highest?”

- Act on that.

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When you feel whole within yourself, you don’t have expectations from one another. You don’t want them to do anything or be anything. You love and appreciate them for who they are. You don’t need anything from them. They can meet you or not meet you, you’re happy either way. That’s freedom.

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Most importantly, be ok with being on your own. This is one of the most important thing you can learn. Find what makes you happy outside of the relationship. Don’t base all our happiness into the relationship so you feel happy either way. When you feel that fulfillment, the most freedom seeking soul wants to stay anyway. But don’t fake your fulfillment to manipulate them to stay obviously 😂

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Would love to hear your thoughts on this lovelies ❤️ Feel free to message me or comment below 👇🏼💫

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Love you 💛

✨ CELEBRATING YOU ✨

2 years ago, 

✨ I used to live in my head a lot.

✨ I gave my power away to others.
✨ I was disconnected from my body and sensuality.
✨I held onto hurt and resentment from the past.
✨ I believed I didn’t have much to offer.
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I feel very grateful that I’ve gone through the most transformational 2 years of my life to come to this point where I’ve found my power, my sovereignty and I live my true nature feeling connected to my essence.
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I had another 8 years before that where I was constantly growing and learning about myself. During this journey, I wish there was a platform where I can find the most profound and powerful tools that supported me to feel empowered and embodied as a woman. I had to go to different sources, apply them, see what worked and didn’t work.
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So I created that platform!
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✨ Celebrating You ✨ 7 weeks online course for women
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This is a powerful course. It will go deep and create transformation and you will journey with other women ❤️
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If you’ve come to any of my workshops or had 1-1 sessions with me and resonate with what I write, imagine the energy of this course is all combined 🔥
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And you can join now! 😍 It’s for 12 women only 💃🏽

You can find out more on here 👇🏼

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https://www.isiktlabar.com/celebrating-you-1

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If you have any questions, just message me ❤️

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Have an awesome weekend 😍

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Love you 💛

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Last week we held a breathwork journey.

This is Jitka, my dear friend and lover of breathwork ❤️😃

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In the videos, she shares about her experience afterwards 👇🏼

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Next breathwork 🔥
21 March 6:30pm
Haggerston, Centre 151
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Link to book is below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4095624
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My mum will be there!! 😃💛
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Night night everyone 🌙
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Own and share who you are, no matter what ✨

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Your “too much”ness, weirdness, your dance, your words, your being, show it all. Don’t dim your light to make someone else comfortable.

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This quote by Steven Spielberg changed my life:
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"Sometimes a dream almost whispers. And I've always said to my kids, the hardest thing to listen to—your instincts, your human personal intuition—always whispers; it never shouts. Very hard to hear. So you have to every day of your lives be ready to hear what whispers in your ear; it very rarely shouts. And if you can listen to the whisper, and if it tickles your heart, and it's something you think you want to do for the rest of your life, then that is going to be what you do for the rest of your life, and we will benefit from everything you do.
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The whisper might not make sense, it might go against what your friends and family think or you might not believe you can do that. Listen to it and act on it anyway 😘
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If people are judging you, that’s ok. Know that their judgement is based on their wound. No matter what you do, they will see it through their wounded lens. So you might as well be yourself ✨
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If people are telling you to not rock the boat, get a steady job and stay in a safe relationship, that’s ok. As you grow and expand, their own fear might kick in. They might realise they’ve been playing it so safe that you going beyond norms into the unknown makes them uncomfortable. So they try to keep you small rather than expanding themselves. Have compassion ✨
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If people are not getting it, that’s ok. Rather than trying to explain it to them, let them be. Focus on your vision and growth. Show them through your actions rather than words ✨
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Do that website.
Post that video.
Ask that girl out.
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What are you avoiding doing knowing deep down it is what your heart yearns for?
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Follow that. It might just empower someone else to shine their light ✨

Love you 💛

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This is my celebration dance! 💛

https://www.facebook.com/isik.tlabar/videos/10161512410025300/

https://www.facebook.com/isik.tlabar/videos/10161512410025300/

I took this after coming back from the talk I gave last night 💃🏽

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I’m not going to lie, a part of me was terrified of this talk. I’m used to giving workshops in circles but standing up infront of people was a whole different scenario. This is what my mind was telling me. The truth is, one person or a group, sitting or standing, it’s all the same thing. It’s about connecting to the heart and serving.
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When I was younger, I decided it’s not safe to put my heart out in the world. It’s so much safer to be in my head. So when I’m triggered, I get all analytical, calculated and rigid, right into my head. It feels exhausting.
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Yesterday, I told my younger self that I got her, she can trust me now. She can see fear as excitement and anticipation. She can show her heart and speak from her heart and it’s ok ✨
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I remembered my friend Celynn told me once, the audience wants you to succeed. When I was standing there, feeling connected with my heart and with the audience’s heart, I realised there is no authority, right or wrong, we’re all in this journey together ❤️
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Giving this talk made me appreciate how much I’ve grown in the last two years. When I gave my first talk a year ago, I was going through a breakup, just moved out to live on my own and so much more was going on. Now I feel the most grounded and the most empowered I ever felt. It feels easy and effortless ❤️
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And I feel like I’m just starting 🔥
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Love you 💛
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I’m on my way to give a talk 😍

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It’s about how to get out of your head and come back into your heart, which has been my journey for the last 2 years ❤️

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I rarely post last minute but I have a feeling someone needs to see this and come. If that’s you, come 😘
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It’s at We Work, Moorgate
1 Fore Street
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Link to book is below 😍
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https://www.animascoaching.com/coaching-cpd-events/
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Love you 💛
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I saw this the other day and I love it 😍

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There are 5 love languages, 5 ways we feel loved. How you love people might not be how others want to be loved. For example, you might love giving compliments as that’s what you would love, but the other person might just wants to spend quality time together with full presence and no phone.

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It’s so good to talk about these not just with your partner, but friends, family, colleagues even, to find out how they feel appreciated so you connect with people deeper.
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It’s also important to find out what makes you feel good and connect with yourself deeper. How are you giving yourself love? ❤️
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Maybe your love language is more quality time, it could be going on walks in nature. Or if it’s words, it could be catching yourself when you’re beating yourself up and saying kind words to yourself instead 🙏🏼
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Do the test 5 love languages online, then find one thing from your first love language that you can do this week to be loving towards yourself and do that 😍
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Enjoy this gorgeous sun! ☀️
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Love you 💛
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Image by Blessing Manifesting: Self Love Quotes

😍 I’M CREATING AN ONLINE COURSE! 😍

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The energy of this course came to me last summer. I put all the structure together back then. Then I went through an intense grieving time, it took me 6 months to come around to it. 

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Looking back, I’m actually grateful for it coming to life 6 months later than planned as I grew and learnt so much during this time. Even coming back to the course and upgrading it, showed me you work with life, not against it. Then life always rewards you... with a pizza 😂🍕
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It breaks my heart when I see women comparing themselves with people who are "further ahead" and they don't realise how far they came, the lessons they learnt and who they become during the process.
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I know this, because I can go down this slippery slope as well. Then I catch myself.
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When you’re in constant comparison, you don’t know who you are and what you want. You lost touch with your essence. There is no space for you to connect with your essence and explore who you are, what you love.
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The freedom is when you know yourself, you know what you want and you own who you are. You step into your power and your uniqueness as a woman.
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This course does that.
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It’s called ✨ Celebrating You ✨
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It’s a 7 weeks long journey with 12 women starting on the 19th of March 💃🏽
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I've been working on the course all day today and I'm so excited it's coming to life! 🔥
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I will announce it with the link to register etc on the 1st of March. If you're interested, message me or comment a ❤️ below 👇🏼
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I love you all 💛
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Honestly, thank you for being here and following my journey. I’m so grateful for you all 🙏🏼
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Last Thursday, we had our monthly breathwork journey 🔥

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It’s not always easy to fully feel your pain. It’s so much easier to numb yourself, drink, take drugs etc. But that’s not living, it’s escaping into a delusional reality. When you actually turn towards your pain to feel it and go through it, then you’re free from it. You come out from the other side feeling lighter ✨ This is exactly what happens during those journeys, with occasional laughs 😃

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I love all the elements in it. Welcoming people, music, opening & closing circle, the journey, energywork, bodywork, eating fruits and hugs afterwards 😍 I can see them all having a purpose and coming together like a piece of art 💛
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Holding these breathwork journeys is one of the things that bring me most alive. They push me to show up as more of who I truly am and they just keep going deeper and deeper 😉
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I’m so grateful for Aaron and Abbey for holding the space with me. Thank you guys ❤️
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Next one is on the 21st of March, link to book is below 👇🏼
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4095624
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Have a gorgeous rest of the weekend 💛
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Love you ❤️
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A reminder for today 😍

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For the times when you think:

- I should be further along right now

- I should be married and have kids by now
- I should have accomplished more by now
- I should know what I meant to be doing by now
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Getting somewhere is not the ultimate success. It’s also about your enjoyment, your learnings and who you become while you’re on the journey. There is no comparison and who decides these shoulds anyway? Whoever it is, you can make a new decision that actually serves you and inspires you ✨
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Even if you don’t get there, you have lessons from it. You are growing either way 😍 What are the lessons you learnt from your unexpected detours?
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On another note, we have few spaces left for the breathwork journey tonight.
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Come join us if you need a good release this post full moon 🌑
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You can book your space through the link below ✨
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https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4053846
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Centre 151, Haggerston
6:30-9:30pm
£25
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Wishing you a wonderful day 💛
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Art by @chibirdart